


I Did it for Him but I Found You

by someonehastowriteit



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Adorable, Apothecary, Avengers - Freeform, Bucky and Readers relationship is platonic, Cuddles, F/M, Fluff, Herbalism, Herbalist - Freeform, I will update tags as I post chapters, Intimacy, Kissing, Light Angst, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Rating may change as the story continues, Slow Build, Telepath, Wakanda, anxiousness, reader with powers, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-10-29 07:06:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10848939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someonehastowriteit/pseuds/someonehastowriteit
Summary: The reader, a telepath, has had a difficult past. Years after the death of her adoptive guardians Bucky, an old friend, contacts the reader and asks for her help. Though the reader wants to help Bucky she isn't positive she can trust his friend, Captain America. Bucky convinces the reader to meet with Steve. After Steve gains the readers trust they go to Wakanda to begin their work in helping the former Winter Soldier. The reader feels she can trust the handsome super soldier, but can she trust herself and her emotions?





	1. I Am Here If You Need Me

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter provides a little insight into the readers past and their abilities. 
> 
> This is my first fanfic in a long time, but I am more than happy to receive constructive criticism! The first few chapters are pretty slow rolling, mainly for background info and setting the mood of the story. Hope you enjoy!

“You have to understand; I don’t think that meeting this man is as important as you would like me to believe. I don’t care who he is to you, that doesn’t mean he is worth my time.” I had been arguing with Bucky for almost 20 minutes about meeting a friend of his, and neither of us had come to a compromise. Bucky may be stubborn, but I could be stubborn too.

“I don’t care about your ‘end of the line’ garbage! I have a business to run.”

“Please (y/n)! Just do me this one favor.” His voice was beginning to get annoying, and I was close to simply hanging up on him. “He won’t let you help me if he doesn’t trust you first!”

“For the last time Bucky, I am not going to meet this guy just to convince him that I could help with your little problem. You know how badly I want to help, but I don’t think that I should have to prove myself just to help my best friend be free!” My voice was starting to rise in volume, confirming that it was due time for me to hang up and get back to work before I did, or said, something I would regret.

For the last two months Bucky had been trying to get me to meet his friend, Steve Rogers, in order to convince him that I would be a valuable asset to the team. The problem lied in the fact that I had zero interest in being apart of any team, let alone the Avengers. I had worked my whole life, up to this moment, trying to prove that I could succeed in the world without using my abilities. My caregivers for years had taken advantage of ‘my gift’, as they had called it, in order to move up in society. Being a telepath may have its benefits, but I had no interest in them. I wanted to show the people around me that I was capable of surviving without my abilities, and had done a damn good job so far. I wanted to help Bucky, but I didn’t want to get roped into the chaos that is the Avengers.

“Little?! (y/n) you could be the key to breaking the connection between me and HYDRA! I thought that you were my friend! Why can’t you do this one simple thing for me?” He sounded hurt, more so than he ever had in the past.

“Bucky,” I let out a sigh and took a deep breath before continuing, “fine. I will meet Steve. There are no guarantees that I will agree to this, but if it means you get your freedom…I will try my best to be cooperative. My only stipulation is that this little rendezvous remains a secret, as does my involvement with your buddies over there.” I quickly checked the time on my phone, realizing that my break would end in five minutes. _Dammit Bucky, I didn’t even get to eat._

“Thanks (y/n), honestly. Thank you. See if you can get the weekend off and we can fly you here. It is about as private as it can get, I promise. Now, I will text you the information you need, along with Steve’s phone number.”

“Whoa whoa whoa, I can’t just leave my shop for a whole weekend! Bucky! You have got to be kidding me!” _That bastard had hung up on me!_ If he wasn’t such an important friend, I wouldn’t be sticking my neck out like this. As I made my way back in to my shop my thoughts drifted to a time when my life was different, wondering how I could have wound up in this mess even though it was painfully clear. I wish I could say that it all started because of my guardians, but I knew it began long before that.

My parents’ death had been sudden and suspicious, but the police had just written it off as a tragic accident. They had been driving home from their monthly date night when the accident occurred. The report, and officer that notified me of their death, had claimed that they must have hit a puddle and hydroplaned into the wall of the tunnel that had been driving through. Their car hadn’t been found until the next morning by a young woman driving out of town, and when I got a hold of the photos from the scene there hadn’t been any water on the road. The area they were in was rural and they had no reason to be out there, considering it was no where near home nor the restaurant they had been at that evening. When the case was closed I was adopted by a couple I had never met, and the process went so quickly that I had to wonder if it was completely legal.  

The couple whose care I was placed into were strict and secretive at first. Even when I tried to use my telepathy on them I could never get a solid hold on their thoughts. In all my years with them I never understood how they were able to keep me blocked from their thoughts. I tired myself out trying to invade their minds and find out what they might have known about my parents’ death. They hardly spoke to me outside of forced interactions, and even then, communicated mostly through their butler. The house was huge so I hardly saw them, and when I did they would always find a reason to be rude or avoid me all together. Eventually I gave up on ever talking to them, and resigned myself to my room. Six months after being placed in their care I discovered an enormous garden in the back yard. From that moment on I dedicated myself to learning everything I could about plants, flowers, and their application for remedies. I began planning to open an apothecary in a town as far from them as possible.

It wasn’t long after I had become comfortable with the distance from them that they suddenly became interested in me. Like the flip of a coin they were kind and warm, trying to make me comfortable in their home. I thought it was too good to be true, but accepted their sudden affection gladly. The woman showed a great interest in my ability to know what a person is thinking before they say anything. This had accidentally come up one night when we had what they called ‘family dinner’. This dinner was different from the ones before. That evening they had a guest, an unassuming young man with a strange accent, I had never seen him in the house before that dinner. Though he had a calm and collected demeanor, his thoughts were the opposite. I couldn’t ignore him no matter how hard I tried. He had been practically screaming about how bad the wine was. I had giggled and without realizing made a comment agreeing with his thoughts that the wine was in poor taste. Everyone looked at me with a mixture of intrigue, coming from my guardians, and confusion from our guest and the butler. Later on in the evening the questioning had begun.

For nearly four years after that evening they would invite important guests over and would dictate the type of information they wanted me to retrieve from invading the thoughts of the strangers sat at our table. They made a game of it, and for a while it was truly fun. The first few guests were neighbors and family friends that I had met in the past, nice people that lived in nice homes. My guardians wanted information like birthdays, favorite color, favorite childhood memories, and earliest memories. Then things changed. They started asking what secrets the guests were hiding, and from there things continued to worsen. I hadn’t realized at the time that they had been secretly getting me to practice invading peoples minds without them knowing. I had gotten so good that I didn’t even need to be in the room for most readings. It took me too long to realize that they had also been testing the depth of information I could collect. Things like childhood memories were kept deep within the mind, if I could access that information I could access just about anything. As my skills improved, the guests that I was told to read became less and less innocent. They were vile people or worked for such people. The information that I was told to retrieve made me question the motives of my guardians, and fear for my life. Even though I knew I didn’t need to be in the room for the readings, my guardians convinced me that it was necessary, thus I met each and every person I read. I had never been so scared or miserable.

When my guardians disappeared just before I turned nineteen I asked no questions. I accepted the funds that were now rightfully mine, thanks to my biological parents, and enrolled in school. I pushed my memories of those years into a dark corner of my mind and moved on with my life. I changed my last name to my mother’s maiden name in order to protect myself from anyone that might come looking for me, then dedicated myself to my work. It was during my final year of college that I met Bucky.

Just as my thoughts began to drift towards that fateful day my phone vibrated in my pocket, pulling me out of my trance. I didn’t bother to check it, knowing it would be Bucky with the required information to meet with his friend, the one and only Captain America.


	2. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader meets with Steve at a cafe. Although she trusts Bucky, she wants to know that she can personally trust his friend. She is not surprised with how kind Steve is, but is thrown off by just how easily he gets to her. As she becomes comfortable with the Captain she talks a bit about her past with Bucky and how she came to know and trust him, as well as why she wants to help him.

As I sat on a stool in a crowded cafe on the outskirts of the city opposite Steve Rogers I began to regret ever meeting Bucky. Not because of the shit we had been through together, but because the man sitting in front of me was perfect and I would never have met him had it not been for Bucky. Why was this a problem you ask? I have never, I repeat never, been so flustered by the mere presence of another human being.

I had been shocked to see him already at the cafe, having been hoping that he would be late so that I would have time to prepare myself. _(y/n) why would you ever expect that of an Avenger?!_ Even when I had been snappy with my greeting he had been kind and a complete gentleman. I think that he realized just how reluctant I was to talk to him, but we found common ground in our exasperation over Bucky being, well, Bucky. Halfway through the initially awkward meeting he started telling me stories of his past with our friend. Even though this was probably only to get me more comfortable and compliant I found myself enjoying listening. Not only were the stories hilarious and entertaining, his change in demeanor was not something to go unnoticed. He had been so stoic at first in an attempt to appear professional, but once he started talking about the good ole days he seemed younger and happier.

I found myself being drawn in as I watched him retell stories of Bucky pulling him from fights and reprimanding him afterwards. My favorite stories were of Steve being forced on double dates, his face became oddly adorable when he visually expressed his exasperation with his best friend. A few times I had found myself telling stories of my own, though they were few and far between. I encouraged him to tell me more about his adventures, hardly realizing how comfortable I had become talking to this man.

“So how did you meet Bucky?” He had asked it so innocently and casually that it threw me off. Bucky wasn’t the kind of man to just meet people on the streets and become friends. He had to realize there was some long story, and either truly cared or was feigning his interest.

“I have met him a quite few times but the story of how we became friends begins two years ago.” I began my tale with a somber voice, looking down at the book sitting on my lap.

_______________________________________________________

During my final year of college one of the men from my past had caught up with me. I had been leaving the campus library late one evening when I passed him. The moment we made eye contact the memories of the first evening he had been a guest of my guardians flooded back to me. Of all the men and women that I had read, he had been the scariest. Though, it was not him that scared me. He worked for an organization called Hydra, an underground organization with criminal intentions dating back to World War II era. The things I had seen in his memories were the most disturbing images I had ever been witness to. Not only did he work for them, he was forced into it. Brainwashed and lost, he was commanded to do their bidding. Whether that meant killing people or collecting information with less than friendly tactics, he did it all. The first opportunity I had to read him I had tried to dig deeper than that, find the man that he was before Hydra. No matter how far back I dug, the horrifying memories kept coming. I had dug fifty years back in his mind and still couldn’t find anything about the man sitting across me. I had never learned why he was a guest, nor why he came to our home five times after that first evening, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he had a hand in the disappearance of my guardians.

After seeing him I hastened my pace, trying to get back to my apartment quickly. Along the way I was attacked by a group of men. I tried to pry my way into their thoughts, hoping it would give me a handle on what was going on. It didn’t take me long to realize their intentions, though not of a lethal nature, were nothing close to gentle or innocent. I struggled against them but knew it was pointless. They were far stronger than me, and outnumbered me four to one. Just as my limbs gave up on me, I felt myself being ripped from their grasp. I watched as the man I had passed earlier defended me against my attackers, protecting me until they fled. When he turned back to me I didn’t see the eyes of the man I had met six times before, but the eyes of someone new. He quietly walked me home.

“Would you like to come in?” The whole walk had been silent, but I wanted to figure out why he had helped me and why he seemed so different.

“That isn’t the safest idea, but sure.” The corner of his mouth twitched into a smirk as he entered my apartment. Even though he warned me it might not be safe I couldn’t bring myself to agree. The man before me was nothing like the man I had met many years ago, but his mind was just as open as it had always been. This time something felt off.

“How did you find me and why did you help me?” I was standing at the counter, making tea, when I posed the question.

“I hadn’t meant to find you.” He seemed confused as he answered this, as I peered into his thoughts I realized that he genuinely hadn’t been looking for me, and was just as shocked as I was when he recognized me. “As for helping you, it is what anyone would, or at least should, do.” He looked up at me then, and the intensity of his eyes reminded me of the man he used to be. The one they called The Winter Soldier.

“Thank you. I’m serious. I can’t thank you enough.” I gave him a genuine smile, and received a strained grimace in return. “If you don’t mind me saying, something about you has changed. We have met before, and I know you remember me, but you’re nothing like the man that I met before.” My face displayed the curiosity I had been feeling since he had first rescued me.

“I escaped Hydra. At least for now.” He stood across the counter from me, his figure as tense as it had been when we first passed each other.

“Hydra was the organization that you worked for correct?” I sat beside him, noting how he moved away from me as I neared him. “They never seemed like the greatest bosses.”

For a short moment his lips quirked into a small smile, “I suppose they aren’t,” before reverting to a far more serious expression. We shared a tense moment of silence before I finally willed my body to move towards the living room.  

I offered him the couch to sleep on for as long as he wanted. By the time I fell asleep I knew everything about James Buchanan Barnes that he knew about himself. When morning came I knew he was gone, but I wasn’t worried. I had learned all I could from him while he slept and was very aware of how capable he was. I just hoped that he could stay hidden.

_______________________________________________________

“After that we ran into each other a few times when he would momentarily break free of Hydra’s control. I’d always offer him somewhere to stay, he would accept but be gone by morning. Eventually he just started showing up. Then one day he called me for help. Said that he was hiding and needed somewhere to stay but not with me. He kept going on about how I wouldn’t be safe with him in my home. I had a friend that owned an apartment in Romania and was staying with my coworker for a month due to family matters. I flew out there for a few days to help him get settled and during that time I was able to help him sort through what memories were his and what Hydra had planted in there. I guess that’s where he stayed for a while. After that, all I heard about him came from the news. Well, up until he called me a few weeks ago.” Steve hadn’t once interrupted me the whole time I was speaking, nor had he said a word since I finished. I sat there in silence for a moment in confusion, staring at my glass in front of me, hardly willing to look up and make eye contact. _He didn’t have anything to say on the subject? After a tale like that I would at least expect him to have something to say…_  When I looked at him, and pried lightly at his thoughts, I realized he was so shocked that he couldn’t even find the words to say what he was thinking even if he wanted to. His thoughts were a jumbled mess of awe, confusion, and a hint of admiration.

“Even knowing the danger he could pose you, you still helped him.” He spoke cautiously, nervous he may something to scare me off. _Apparently I look as nervous as I feel, or he is very perceptive._  “Very few people would willing put themselves in that position once, let alone as many times as you have.”

“He was never a threat to me. That was the one thing I was always sure of. I can’t explain how I knew it the first few times, but I always trusted him. I never even felt the need to use my abilities on him.” I adjusted my sitting position, tilting my head to the side slightly as I looked at Steve. “He never came for me when he wasn’t himself, and when he was around me he was cautious and kind. He asked for nothing, and if I offered him anything he was hesitant to accept. He treated me with nothing but respect, so I have extended him the same gesture.”

Without realizing I was doing so I found myself once again trying to read what he was thinking. I was surprised to find how clouded his thoughts still were. I was unable to discern any complete ideas, only fragments of thoughts, and even those made no sense. It was as if Steve’s mind was working over time 24/7, thinking about a million things at the same time. As I retracted from his mind I noticed him still staring at me with the same look of awe, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. It wasn’t a look I was on the receiving end of very often. I felt my cheeks begin to turn pink with embarrassment but I couldn’t bring myself to break eye contact. His eyes were mesmerizing, far too easy to get lost in for anybody’s safety. How this man was still single was beyond me, but I wasn’t complaining.

Steve suddenly smiled, big and genuine. It took my off guard and it must have been obvious because he followed that stunning smile with a heart warming chuckle. We continued talking about our lives, and when he discovered I owned my own shop he asked if he could see it.

“I suppose we could go there now if you would like. Its just right down the street.” My cheeks were tinged pink as I put the invitation into the open. I wasn’t sure how much longer he would want to be around me, but it couldn’t hurt to ask.

“I would love to see it, otherwise I wouldn’t have asked.” He laughed softly.

“Of course! Right. Yes. Um… shall we?” I stood slowly, trying to hide my most likely obvious embarrassment by rummaging through my bag for my phone and shop keys. I silently thanked every God I could think of for it being a Sunday. We were closed Sunday, which meant I wouldn’t have to deal with customers or my employees. Don’t get me wrong, I loved everyone that worked for me, but bringing an Avenger into a store with young adult women working would be beyond chaotic.

We walked outside together then continued down the street towards my store. I had never felt so nervous about showing somebody my store, and I was still confused as to why I was nervous to show Steve. As we walked I got lost in my anxious thoughts and nearly walked right past my store. I suddenly stopped walking, causing Steve to nearly bump into me.

“Here we are!” I turned to face the door, thankful that this angle blocked his view of my struggle to find the right key. I sighed in relief as I got the door unlocked and stepped inside my favorite place in the world, locking the door again behind Steve before turning on the lights.


	3. My Second Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader takes Steve to her second home, the Apothecary that she opened a few years back. She decides that if Bucky can trust him then so can she and agrees to go with him to Wakanda to try and help her friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again lovely readers! I always love constructive feedback or comments in general! This chapter is shorter than the second chapter but helps progress the story. More to come soon!

The main storefront was fairly small and softly lit. Heavy curtains blocked out most of the light from the windows at the front of the store, keeping the store private when closed. When the store was open for business the curtains were left open, providing a refreshing amount of natural lighting. Along each wall stretched shelves, reaching from the floor up to the ceiling. Each wall of shelves had a ladder that could be rolled across the wall, allowing access to even the highest of shelves. Jars of remedies and oils filled one wall, another housed a multitude of ingredients that were safe for the common customer. One wall contained shelves locked by sliding glass doors, containing more ingredients, though these were for the more experienced customers. The final wall, just behind the counter, was where I stored all of the plants and herbs that I sold and used for making my products. There was a mixture of jars, fresh plants, and dried herbs and leaves. Throughout the floor of the store there were a spattering of small tables, displaying decorative pieces and floral arrangements. The whole store smelled earthy and warm, the aesthetic of the surrounding products and decorations adding to the homey feel.

I took a deep breath, appreciating my surroundings and allowing the apothecary to comfort me as it always did. I quickly checked a few of the more sensitive plants, making sure they were healthy and watered. When I was satisfied with their care I walked past the register to another locked door that lead to the back room. When I turned back to see if Steve had followed me.  I smiled softly when I noticed he was carefully examining the shelves and tables. He carefully picked up a few jars and taking a closer look at what was inside them, then placed them back on the shelf exactly as they had been placed before he picked them up. He turned away from the shelf he had been standing in front of, taking in the store one last time then following me through the second door. I left this one open as we entered the back of the store.

This area was much larger than the storefront. Counters lined half of the room, a few sinks spaced across the south wall while the west wall was covered in another collection of shelves to house empty jars. There was herbs and flowers hanging from the ceiling on drying racks. The north wall had a collection of windows with shelves below them for growing new plants and a door that led to the garden behind my shop.

“This is where I prepare and experiment with new remedies.” I pointed to a large bookshelf filled completely with large books. “These is everything about herbalism and apothecary’s that I have collected over the years.”

I looked back to Steve and watched as he examined the whole space just as carefully as he had seen the storefront. _If Bucky trusts him then I can trust him. It really comes down to whether I can trust myself around him or not._

“Do you make everything here?” He looked back at me as he posed his question.

“I make most all of my products, as well as make exchanges with other herbalists and owners of stores like mine. I have a few employees that man the store while I work back here but I prefer to work with my customers as much as possible. Most of my regulars are close friends.” His answering smile caused me to blush again. _What are you? Fifteen?! Stop getting so flustered by him!_ I was starting to get frustrated with the way he was making me think and feel.

“This place is amazing, and beautiful.” His smile faded slightly. “You realize that if you help Bucky you will be away from this store for a while.” His voice was soft.

“I am well aware of that. I prepared to be gone for at most two weeks. I have talked to my employees and regulars already so they are aware that I will be out of contact for a while. Any orders placed while I am gone will be put on a holding list that I will address when I return. Most of our common products are easy enough to make that my assistant manager can handle them. I keep my more important products at home so I am not terribly worried. Though it will be the longest amount of time that I have spent away from my shop since I opened it.” I brushed my hand across the top of the table in front of me. “I will miss it but if I can help Bucky I want to. He means a lot to me.”

I was looking down at the table while I spoke so I missed the way Steve’s expression changed but not his change in thoughts. The shift was easily noted even when I wasn’t directly listening, similar to the way any person can sense a change in aura I could sense the change in his thoughts. When I met his eyes there was a thankful smile gracing his features.

“How soon can you be ready to fly out?”

“I already am. I just need to pick up my suitcase from home.” I walked back towards the door, standing close to Steve.

“The jet is ready if you are, we can stop by on our way to the tarmac.” He put a gentle hand on my shoulder, causing me to tense before relaxing into the sudden touch. “Thank you (y/n).”

All I could do was nod in response before leading him back out of the store, locking each door behind us. I waved goodbye to my store before following him back to the café. From there he followed me to my home. I was far less anxious of him seeing my small home. It was nearly an hour outside of the city-skirts and I had spent the morning cleaning each room meticulously before meeting Steve. After checking over the house one last time I felt confident leaving my home in the condition it was currently in I followed Steve back outside to his vehicle. We loaded my bags, climbed in, and set off towards the Avengers private hangar. It wasn’t until we were almost there that I thought to check how long our flight would be. _Dear gods above please let me survive this flight._ A minimum of twelve hours alone with Steve was sure to be either torture or heaven. I uttered a silent prayer that the jet would make this flight go by much quicker.


	4. The Long Flight That Didn't Feel So Long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of conversation between the reader and Steve Rogers on their flight from New York to Wakanda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story should pick up a bit after this chapter, but for now I hope you enjoy!

The flight started out easy enough with some casual conversation on our lives and interests. Steve even showed me his list of movies, television, music, and other cultural references that he was trying to catch up on. I thought the whole notion of keeping a notebook of such information was endearing but also made me sad. This man had been taken from the world he knew and forced to acclimate to a country that was now foreign to him. He seemed to be adjusting fairly well but I couldn’t help but wonder what he truly thought of the world around him.

From what I had seen on the news Steve was involved in one fight after another. He went into the ice during a war and came out to a new fight. Everything he thought he died to protect was being threatened by greater and far more imposing enemies. I couldn’t help but wonder if the man I was talking with was Steve Rogers or Captain America. I had intentionally been asking him about everything except his experiences as an Avenger, hoping to get to know the man behind the shield.

We talked for a while about the films he had seen and what he had been told to watch. I wasn’t surprised to hear that he wasn’t too fond of war films, aside from historically accurate films. He told me that living the experience was enough for him, but when it came to documentary style films he liked hearing accounts from veterans themselves. He could relate to those far easier than the exaggerated drama films.

After an hour of talking mainly about Steve he turned the questioning on me. It started casually by first posing a question about my daily life, asking questions about what it was like owning and operating my own apothecary.

“What got you interested in working with plants?” I shifted my sitting position, feeling nervous under his curious gaze.

“When I was first taken in by my adoptive…parents, they were uninterested in me. They had a large garden on their property that I took a liking to. I had a lot of free time on my hands since they hired tutors to teach me from their home, so I spent most of my free time out in their garden studying the flowers and plants they had. I began researching other plants and learned that they had practical applications as well as being beautiful. From then on I began purchasing and raising my own herbs and flowers, as well as experimenting with recipes I found and ones that I created. Apparently I had a knack for the trade and enjoyed it immensely. It was then that I decided that I wanted to open my own shop and share my remedies with the community.” I had been fiddling with my napkin from our light lunch while talking, having reduced it to shredded mess on the table.

“After the death of my guardians I gave up college and moved to New York to open my shop. I had been surprised to find out that my guardians left their property and money to me when they passed, so not only did I have money from my parents, but I also acquired some from my adoptive guardians. It was more than enough to get me settled comfortable and open up my shop. I started in a smaller building closer to central park but I wasn’t fond of the area. Once I built up a reliable client-base I moved to a more remote and ideal area.”

“I don’t mean to pry or sound insensitive, but with your abilities and knowledge you could…do so much more.” He seemed nervous as he posed the question, and when I poked gently into his thoughts I had to keep from giggling. He hadn’t meant for his question to sound rude or judgmental.

“You’re right. I could. I…was exploited early into my discovery of my abilities and since I haven’t been comfortable using them outside of minor instances. Thanks to my abilities I became aware of many terrible organizations and have since been afraid that they would discover me and come after me.” My voice held an air of assertiveness that I was unaware I possessed outside of work. “I enjoy my quiet life. This is the closest I have ever come to compromising that.”

“What about when you helped Bucky? Didn’t that put you in danger of Hydra discovering you?” Steve had shifted so he was leaning closer to me.

“I can’t explain why but I was never scared that Bucky would compromise my safety. Besides that, I was always careful not to do anything that would connect me to him. We hardly had contact and when we did it was anonymous and through secure channels. Bucky was as careful to protect my safety as I was.” A soft smile crept its way onto my face as I thought back on our conversations and interactions.

“You two are close then.” It wasn’t a question, rather a statement.

“As close as we could be in the situation we were in. He was a friend and confidant. He was the first person that I felt comfortable telling about my abilities. Even that took a long time.”

“I am happy to hear that he had a friend like you to help him when he needed it.”

“We have helped each other.” I hoped that Steve was finished talking about my past with our mutual friend, and was relieved when he let out a satisfied noise as he leaned back in his seat.

I tried, and failed, to stifle a yawn as I stretched and shifted into a more comfortable position. After fiddling with the seat a bit I figured out how to lean it back. Steve stood and collected two sets of pillows and blankets. He placed one of each on my lap before setting up his own sleeping arrangement. We both settled in comfortably, content to sit in silence and try to get some sleep during this long flight.

I fell asleep far easier than I had expected, and slipped into a dreamless sleep. I woke up feeling rested and comfortable, something I never expected to feel when sleeping on a plane. I glanced at my phone to see how long I had been asleep and realized that it had been nearly a full six hours of sleep. When I looked out the window beside my seat I could only see ocean and the lovely night sky. I didn’t recognize any of the stars in the sky, taking a moment to appreciate the view before my eyes. After a moment I looked back at Steve to see him reading a book with a small book light. I strained my eyes to see the title but the lighting in the cabin was so low that I couldn’t make out the title. I faintly recognized the image on the cover but couldn’t figure out why it was so familiar. As I was trying to figure out what book he was reading, Steve looked up from his book and made eye contact with me, a lazy smile gracing his features.

“Sleep well?” His question pulled me from my thoughts, making me focus once again on the situation at hand.

“Far better than I ever expected.” I returned his smile with one of my own.

“We should be arriving soon. If there is one thing I appreciate about this time period, it is the faster modes of transportation.”

I settled back into my seat, getting comfortable once again. It was then that I realized why his book looked so familiar. He was reading one of my favorite novels, Dracula. I watched him closely as he went back to reading, taking in his expressions as he got further into the book. I found myself watching his mouth far closer than I should have, but couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face as I realized he was mouthing the words as he read.

“Was that book on your list or had you already read it?” The simple question broke the comfortable silence, but his broad grin kept me from regretting interrupting his reading.

“I have probably read this book more times than most. It has always been one of my favorites and I was happy to discover that it is still a novel that many people love deeply.” He marked his place in the book and set it on the table between us. “Have you read it?”  

“Sorry to say bud, I think I have read it more than you.” I winked at him teasingly, surprised at how casual our interactions had become so quickly.

We got into a debate over who had read it more, which led to us listing classics that we had read and competing with each novel brought up in the conversation. When I pried into his thoughts as we spoke I was shocked to find they were calmer than they had been all day. I pulled away from his mind before I could get a handle on exactly what he was thinking, but found myself hoping that it was me that calmed his thoughts. The rational part of my mind kept telling me that it was the familiar topic of conversation that was making him so comfortable, but the romantic in me still hoped otherwise.

We talked for another while before going back to our respective books. I had brought along a few of my tomes to keep me entertained, but couldn’t seem to focus on it too well. I kept glancing over the top of my book to watch Steve read his. The focus he had when reading was how I imagined he focused on any task placed before him. Though he was engrossed in his book, there was no doubt in my mind that he was still hyper aware of his surroundings.

Just as I had finally focused on my reading, Steve placed his book back on the table before standing and putting away our blankets and pillows. I watched him putter about, making sure the jet was clean and organized as it had been when we first got on. Once he was satisfied he sat back down.

“We should be landing soon.” Those five words reignited the anxiousness I had been feeling when I first agreed to go help Bucky. I glanced out the window to see lush earth below us, the ocean not far off in the distance. I put my book away before sitting up straight in my seat. My eyes scanned the land below us for a moment, then turned to face the super soldier sitting across from me.

“I’m ready.”


	5. Dinner in Wakanda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Steve reach Wakanda and have dinner with King T'Challa and Bucky. They discuss how they will continue from this point forward and the reader expresses her concerns.

As the jet landed my nerves skyrocketed. It had been a while since I had last seen Bucky, and here I was in a foreign country surrounded by people I didn’t know. To say I was out of my comfort zone was an understatement. As we walked onto the tarmac my eyes shifted quickly, trying to take in all my surroundings. Behind us was a lush forest, thick and green. When I turned back to look ahead I had to stop and take in the beautiful architecture before me.

The building was large and beautifully modern. I was pleased to see that it still fit with the surrounding greenery, enhancing the landscape rather than cutting into it. As I stared in awe I noticed three figures making their way towards us. I immediately recognized Bucky’s distinct gait, but the other two were foreign to me. As they came closer I recognized the second man as King T’Challa. It was then that I realized we must have landed directly on the palace grounds.

My nerves nearly got the best of me as I momentarily lost my balance, leaning against Steve for support as I tried to wrangle my thoughts. I could feel my body tingling with power and knew that if I didn’t get my emotions in check things would go very badly.  I could feel Steve’s eyes on me but didn’t have the excess energy to reassure him I would be okay. As the three figures got closer I could see Bucky’s expression more clearly. He is watching me closely, concern evident on his face. His pace quickens as he approaches us, nearly ignoring Steve’s greeting and only grunting in return. By the time he reached us I had composed myself enough to put a smile on my face. I greeted Bucky and was shocked when he hugged me.

“Thank you.” He continued uttering his thanks until I pulled away from him gently.

“You couldn’t possibly believe that I would say no to helping you.” I turned from Bucky to the approaching royal, offering a small bow. “Thank you for allowing me to try and help Bucky.”

“Let us go inside and get you two settled. We can discuss the details of your stay over dinner.” He gestured back towards the palace, leading us inside and to our respective rooms. I was thankful to find out that I would be staying in the room next to Steve and Bucky. I don’t think I could have handled being too far from them in such an unfamiliar place.

I take some time to get settled and collect myself in the privacy of my room. The gravity of the task at hand is starting to settle. It is up to me to help my friend, and if I can’t do what they want me to, who knows what that will do to Bucky’s psyche. Then there is the thought of failure. If I mess something up in his mind it could have severe consequences. I may be close with Bucky but that doesn’t mean I know his mind. Altering a conditioned response is hard and takes time, I still wasn’t sure that Bucky was aware just how wrong this could go. I could easily understand just how desperate Buck was to feel free, but I didn’t want to make things worse in the process of trying to make them better. Not to mention I was out of practice. It had been years since I had practiced my abilities, I was scared that could increase the chances of things going wrong. I didn’t want to upset Bucky but he needed to be aware of all the possibilities. I would rather be here longer making sure things were done properly than rush through the process and make mistakes.

I decided it was best to change into something nicer for a dinner with not only Bucky and Steve, but also real life royalty. I felt beyond underdressed and as I dug through my bag I couldn’t find anything that would suit the occasion. Eventually I found my favorite pair of black skinny jeans and ankle boots, digging deeper into my bag I procured my favorite button up and a nice jacket to wear over it. Feeling satisfied with my findings I quickly changed and fixed up my hair.

As I finished getting ready for dinner I realized I could hear muffled voices from Bucky and Steve’s room. At first I told myself that I wouldn’t try to eavesdrop but as I stood near the wall I heard a muffled word that sounded pretty damn close to my name. After that I couldn’t resist. I took a few steps closer to the wall and listened closely, suddenly thankful that the building was quiet. Just as I started listening I heard the door to their room open then a knock on my door. I jumped away from the wall, double checking my outfit, smoothing out any wrinkles. When I opened the door Bucky was standing on the other side dressed in a nice pair of black pants and a light grey shirt covered by a simple navy blue jacket.

“You ready to eat?” He offered me his arm, motioning down the hall.

I nodded as I took his arm. “Where is Steve?” I looked behind him to see if I could see Steve in the hall.

“He is going to meet us there.” We started walking down the hall, opposite of the way we had come before.

We chatted about his time here as we walked towards the dining area. He mentioned that he had been in cryo for a while before Steve came to check on him. That was when he had thought of me and that I might be able to help. I felt the need to talk to him about the possible negative consequences of my ‘help’ but decided that it would be best to talk about it with Steve there. It is definitely something that he would want and needs to hear as well.

The walk was short and as we entered the dining hall I was blown away by the beauty of it. It had a very minimalist feel, but the lighting was bright while still being comfortable. I could see African motifs in the architecture as well as decoration, but all together it felt modern. King T’Challa was sitting at the far end of the table, looking regal even when dressed casually. Bucky led me to a seat just to the left of the royal before taking the seat opposite me. The only empty seat with a setting was to my left. I assumed that was left to Steve, a blush crossing my cheeks at the prospect of sitting next to the super soldier.

We continued talking as we waited, including T’Challa in the casual conversation. Not long after seating ourselves the doors opened once more. Steve entered quietly, walking towards us with purposeful strides. He nodded respectfully to the royal seated to my left before greeting Bucky and I with a smile. He took his seat next to me just as our food was placed before us.

“Should we talk about what is to come?” I fiddled nervously with my utensils.

“I have made it a principle to not discuss important matters on an empty stomach. We have plenty of time so enjoy.” T’Challa gave me a kind smile as he responded, then began eating.

Dinner went by quietly, each of us enjoying the meal we were presented. It had been far too long since I had eaten a meal as nice as this one, generally cooking myself simple meals with the essentials. As the food on our plates disappeared the casual conversation of before started up again. After the plates were cleared T’Challa cleared his throat.

“Barnes has given me the basic run down of what you can do but if you wouldn’t mind explaining further what you can do?” He fixed me with a hard stare. It didn’t feel threatening but didn’t help curb my nerves.

“Well I-uh-I will delve deep into his mind to his subconscious and alter the mental connection between the trigger words and the response. I won’t know what adjustments I will need to make until I get in there, but…” I looked between the three men nervously. “There are a few things you guys should know before we officially decide to do this.”

Steve gave me a nod of encouragement but looked just as curious as the other two. I could feel my anxiety rising again and my powers surfacing quickly. I felt a gentle hand on my left shoulder and looked at Steve. He gave me a reassuring nod, his touch grounding me and helping me gain control of my emotions once again.

“Delving into the mind of another person can have…consequences. These consequences heighten when delving into the subconscious. I don’t know what I will find in there or how far I will have to go to find the trigger, not to mention, if anything goes wrong it could end badly.”

I could see my nervousness reflected in the eyes of the men around me. I fiddled with my hands in my lap, feeling Steve retract his hand from my shoulder.

“I want to help, I really do, but I thought you all should know of the dangers. Not to mention I am out of practice. It might take me some time to warm up my abilities but once I feel comfortable I will do what I can.”

T’Challa and Steve nodded in satisfaction but I could see that Bucky wasn’t feeling any more comfortable. He put on a determined face before nodding his consent.

“I will need someone to practice on…” My cheeks turned pink at the cautious statement.

“You’re more than welcome to practice on me. It might be safer than practicing on Buck. No offense.” Steve smiled warily at his friend who just chuckled softly and winked at his friend.

“None taken. I understand. Who knows what could be triggered with her in my mind. Best to save the danger for the final try.” He turned his smile to me. “I trust you, you know that. I am willing to risk my life to fix this, because if we can’t do this I could put everyone in danger. It is for the best.”

Ever the martyr. I was still uncomfortable practicing on anyone. Not only was there the risk of messing up, but there is also the risk of me losing control. The idea of harming anyone, especially Steve and Bucky terrified me.

“We will start slow. You need to be comfortable and confident otherwise the risk increases. We can rest for today and start early tomorrow. I promise you, I will ensure that nothing happens to you or Bucky.” Steve’s voice provided far more reassurance than I expected. I would have to thank Bucky for giving me the opportunity to meet such a man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how many more chapters will follow but we are finally getting into the meaty parts of this fic. Hope you guys are enjoying it so far! Thank you for reading! <3


	6. Practice Makes Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader and Steve practice her abilities. progressing further and further each time. As the reader delves deeper into Steve's mind they learn more about the super soldier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no smut but the reader and Steve do share an intimate moment. Hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it! Feedback is always welcome.

It had been a few days since we had arrived to Wakanda. Steve had stayed true to his word, allowing me to practice on him. He wasn’t joking when he said we would start small. All we had done was basic mind reading, not delving any deeper than his current thoughts. I wanted to try something more difficult than that but Steve seemed hesitant. I suppose the idea of not being able to control what I see is daunting, any rational person would be cautious.

As hesitant as he was, I was even more so. Although I wasn’t comfortable perusing anyone’s mind, Steve was even harder to get comfortable with. I still didn’t know what he thought of me, and I didn’t want to accidentally find out. That was the main reason I detested my ability. Thoughts were the only privacy we had in this day and age. The fact that I could so easily take away that privacy disgusted me. I had no idea how I acquired my abilities but I hate whoever did this to me.

It had been a few days since Steve and I last worked together, and nearly a week since arriving in Wakanda. I was sitting on my bed, sketching idly while mentally going over future orders and potential blends of herbs. I faintly heard a knock on a door but assumed I was hearing things. This wing of the palace was fairly quiet, allowing anyone to hear most anything. It wasn’t until Steve popped his head into my room that I realized the knock had been on my door.

“Oh! Hi Steve. Need anything?” I adjusted the shawl I was wearing as I turned towards the door.

“I was actually wondering if you wanted to practice today.” He stepped fully into my room when he saw that I was decent.

“You’re ready for more?” I pulled my shawl tighter for comfort.

“If we are going to help Bucky you need more practice. Whether I am ready or not doesn’t matter in this situation.” He gave me a strained smile that softened when he saw how surprised I looked.

“That’s…admirable of you.” I laughed softly, “and not the least bit surprising coming from Captain America. Do you want to stay in here or go somewhere else?”

“In here is fine. I think it is where we are both most comfortable and free of interruptions.” He motioned to the bed beside me, silently asking for permission to sit.

I shifted over so that he could get comfortable. His large frame took up more space on the bed than my smaller one. We sat facing each other. It took a moment for us to both get comfortable, and I could have sworn he kept moving closer to me. As we settled I realized just how close we were sitting, his knees nearly touching mine. I focused hard on not letting myself blush and prayed I was successful. If his adorable smile told me anything it was that I was not successful.

“Are you sure you’re okay with me this?” He nodded rather than verbally replying and I took that for his permission to continue.

I closed my eyes as I focused in, letting the feel of his thoughts take over. I pushed past his immediate thoughts, not bothering to focus on them enough to understand them.

“Focus on a memory. That makes it easiest to find. Think of it as lighting a beacon. Not only does this make my job easier but it also allows you to choose what I find. I will ignore everything but what you want me to see. Try to make it something from your past. The further back you go in your memories the further I will need to go.” I gently rested my hands on his knees, giving myself not only a psychological connection, but also a physical connection.

As I waited for Steve to pick a memory I found myself experiencing our first meeting from his mind. I could feel his nerves in the moment as he waited for me in the café. A sense of worry enveloped me as he considered the fact that I wouldn’t show. There was a sudden feeling of relief as he watched me enter the café, followed by a feeling that I couldn’t place. It was something between awe and-was that attraction?! Just as I was about to focus on that feeling I felt a tingle through my body. Steve had picked a memory and was focusing intently on it. I dove deeper into his thoughts, stretching out to try and find the memory. A few minutes passed before I located the beacon.

Being in his long term memory was like walking through a library, as opposed to short term memory which was like sifting through a pile of laundry. There were organized aisles that housed different thoughts and memories. As I mentally pulled the memory to the forefront of his mind I realized I was looking back to Steve’s years before the serum. I watched as a well dressed Steve, slighter in figure, walked into an expo with Bucky and two women. I watched as they explored the expo before approaching a showcasing. There on stage stood Howard Stark. My focus remained on Steve and his thoughts and feelings in the moment.

I realized that the feeling of awe was one that Steve commonly felt. He was a man with an open mind who appreciated the advancement of humanity. He looked for the amazing and beauty in everything he experienced. A quality that was useful for someone in his situation. He could understandably be bitter towards the world for the cards he was dealt, but he chose to be positive.

After a moment I realized that I had been focusing more on Steve than the memory. That wasn’t the point of these exercises so I quickly took in his surroundings once again. He had moved to a different area of the expo, filling out a pile of paperwork that I realized was an application to draft. I smiled softly at all the lies on his form. I could feel his determination and felt myself being enveloped by his emotions again. I pulled myself out of his emotions and once again focused on the memory.

There now was a man standing in the room with Steve. His accent told me he was German but I could feel the trust Steve held for him as he reminisced and realized he was someone important in his life. When I heard the name of the doctor I realized just what memory I was watching unfold. This was the opportunity that Steve was given to assume his role as Captain America. This was the meeting that started it all.

My focus was beginning to weaken, telling me that it was time to end our session. As I pulled myself from his mind something caught my attention. I felt like my name was being called but it was faint. I wanted to hone in on whatever was calling to me but my strength was waning so I filed it in my mind for later perusing before fully emerging from Steve’s mind.

When I did I realized that I was no longer sitting in front of Steve, but rather leaning against him for support. I carefully shifted my weight as we both became fully conscious of our surroundings but didn’t move away from him. He was warm and calming. Allowing me to easily compose myself comfortably.

“That was…strange.” His voice was soft as he spoke for the first time in a while. When I checked the time I realized I had been in his mind for over half an hour. The longest time I had spent in anyone’s mind in years.

“When I first came out of the ice I spent a long time looking back on my past but nothing was ever that vivid. I felt as if I was actually there. It was far more calming that I had anticipated.” When I looked up at him I realized that with my head resting on his shoulder our faces were only inches apart, yet neither of us moved.

“When I pull someone’s memories forward not only do they feel the emotions they felt in the moment, but they also carry the feelings they currently attach with that memory. You’re trust and respect for Dr. Erskine allowed you to feel comfortable reliving that memory.” I closed my eyes again, focusing on our physical points of connection so as not to focus on his thoughts.

“You could feel all of that?” I felt his hand cover mine on his knee, smiling softly at the connection.

“I can feel everything you feel when I am in your mind. It is like I become apart of you for that moment. It can be overwhelming at times, the emotions. Sometimes I find it hard to focus on what I am seeing rather than feeling and get lost for a moment. The stronger the emotion, the harder it is for me to focus. That is why I need to practice. When I do this with Bucky he is going to have very strong, negative feelings. I need to be able to separate myself from his emotions and focus on the task at hand. If I can’t do that I risk getting lost.” I closed my hand around Steve’s, using it as an emotional anchor.

I felt his free hand gently touch my cheek, causing me to open my eyes and look first at his hand, then at him. The intensity in his eyes took me off guard. I always felt conflicted in these quiet moments with Steve. On one hand, he grounded me. Gave me a point of focus that made me feel safe using my abilities. On the other hand, he scattered my thoughts and made me fear losing control due to just how hard my mind focused on his presence when we were together. I always felt so hyper aware of his thoughts and feelings when in the same room. It was both comforting and disconcerting.

A few moments passed as we both watched the other. I couldn’t tell just what he was thinking, and had never felt so happy to be confused. His face displayed a variety of emotions. It was like watching an intricate piece of origami unfold, until all that was left was a serene smile. His thumb gently stroked my cheek as we sat together comfortably.

I don’t know which of us closed the distance, and I later decided that we moved at the same time, but soon our lips were brushing softly. In a moment the brief touch turned into a sensual kiss. Calm, sweet, and relaxed, we allowed ourselves to freely explore the other in a synchronized dance of lips on lips. It was comfortable and easy. There was no play for dominance, just a reserved moment of intimacy. I felt our emotions mixing like ink in a glass of water. Two separate beings coming together in a moment and becoming one for that time.

When we pulled away from each other it was only far enough to catch our breaths. His hands remained where they were on my waist and cheek. I had been so caught up in the kiss that I hadn’t realized I was now straddling his lap while he gently held me in place. Our eyes met and we shared soft smiles, equally displaying the joy and comfort we felt in the moment.

I moved one of my hands up to touch his cheek, my fingers nimbly exploring the planes of his face and jaw. I smiled proudly as he closed his eyes, and could feel the satisfaction radiating off him. When my fingers brushed over his lips he puckered them slightly, giving them the gentlest kiss. I felt his hand move from my waist to catch my wrist, pressing soft kisses into the palms of my hand. The moment felt euphoric and consuming.

There was no lustful need to progress from this point into more intimate waters. In fact, I couldn’t imagine a situation more intimate than this. We were not only sharing our space, but he had let me into his mind willingly. Opening up in a way that the average person couldn’t comprehend.

That night Steve stayed in my room. We lay facing each other, exchanging light kisses every so often but generally just talking softly about the experience. We fell asleep cuddled close, unwilling to move farther from the other than arms length. I had never been so synced with another human being, our thoughts mirrored exactly in the other. It was incredible but we were both aware that it would come to an end once we awoke. So we appreciated it while it lasted.


	7. Another Day Another Practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and the reader spend the next day practicing her abilities, stretching towards memories with higher emotions tied to them so as to challenge the readers powers. As emotions run high the reader finds herself being sucked into a vortex that she just can't fight.

I woke up engulfed in warmth. It wasn’t stifling, rather comfortable actually. It was like having a nice heavy blanket covering you in the midst of a winter storm. I let myself relax in the comfort of the moment, focusing on every point of contact between our two bodies. I zeroed in on his breathing, tracking each inhale and exhale. His chest rose and fell with each breath, causing my head to shift every so slightly with the movement. I gently poked at his thoughts to find that he was still asleep and deep in his dream. I was curious as to what he dreamed about but I didn’t want to look into it without his direct consent.

I decided against entering his mind while he slept. Just as I settle back in to relax once again I heard his breathing shift as he rose from the depths of his dream. I looked up at his face as his eyes opened, meeting mine sleepily. The dreamy smile that graced his face caused my heart to skip a beat. I had never been looked at with such adoration since my parents died. I could feel myself giving in to the feelings I was developing for the super soldier in my bed, I still wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

The night before, when I had been in his mind, I felt myself succumbing to his emotions. It was hard to emotionally separate myself from him when my emotions ran so high in his presence. I hoped that when it came time to enter Bucky’s mind our platonic relationship would help me to remain distant from his emotions and focus on the task. In the meantime, practicing with Steve would prove to be a greater challenge than I had initially anticipated. I hoped that in the end that would be a good thing. 

“Good morning.” His voice was rough with sleep, the sound doing things to my body that slightly embarrassed me.

“Morning.” I gave him a sleepy smile, matching the joy displayed on his features.

“Do you want to practice again today or take another break?” His hand shifted to brush my hair from my face, pushing it gently behind my ear.

“If you are feeling up to it I would like to practice again today. Perhaps with a memory that is associated with stronger emotions. I need to prepare myself for working with Bucky.” A large yawn stretched the features of my face, prompting me to stretch my limbs. I felt Steve shit his weight so that I could stretch out.

I let out a satisfied groan that turned into a soft hum as I settled back against Steve. His body was stiff as I rested my forehead against his chest, the two of us laying on our sides facing one another. I looked up at his face and saw that his pupils had dilated and a soft pink blush painting his cheeks. I couldn’t resist the grin that spread across my lips, realizing just what made him tense up. There was a sense of pride that filled me knowing I could so easily fluster America’s hero.

Steve shifted to lay on his back then shuffled his way into a sitting position, turning his head slightly to the side to look at me still. I stretched once more before sitting up beside him, letting out one last yawn. I placed my hand over his, intertwining our fingers. His skin was soft but his palms and fingers were calloused, likely from training and combat. My hands looked childish in size when compared to his, but the contrast only made me smile. I had always been so scared of being discovered by Hydra, or another organization just as evil, but when I was with him I felt as if it didn’t matter. Whether they came for me or not he would protect me, just as he had with Bucky.

“Shall we eat first or jump right into it?” His smooth voice broke the silence between us, forcing my head up to meet his gaze.

“I suppose we could eat.” At that moment my stomach growled rather loudly. A bright blush formed on my cheeks and a shy smile spread across my face. “I guess my stomach agrees. Food it is. Then we can come back here and practice some more.”

I made my way off the bed, struggling slightly as the dip made from Steve’s weight kept threatening to pull me back down into bed. I would have gladly given in but I could feel my hunger rising and knew that if I didn’t eat soon I would get cranky. As I climbed off the bed I realized then that I had slept in my clothes from the day before. Rather than change completely I traded my shawl for a comfortable sweater before pulling on my favorite shoes.

Steve and I made our way to the kitchen to grab a simple breakfast, then returned to my bedroom with our plates and drinks. We sat on the bed and ate silently, exchanging small talk and bashful glances. When we finished we set the plates and glasses aside. I sat back down on the bed in the same position as I had been in the day before, Steve sitting in front of me again. This time I didn’t shy away from him when he moved closer to me.

“Like I said earlier, try to find a memory that you associate with really strong emotions. We can start with something happier then another day try a negative memory to prepare for Bucky’s turn.” I looked him in the eye, making sure that not only did he verbally say he was ready but truly was.

“That sounds like a good idea.” His lips turned into a half smile. “I’m ready when you are.”

I closed my eyes once again, reaching out for his hands and clasping them in my own. I then allowed my conscious to meld with his, enter his mind carefully and once again pushing past his conscious into his long term memories.

It was easier this time through to make my way to his deeper memories, once I felt the beacon I moved easily towards it. This memory was farther in his mind than the one we had accessed earlier. When I reached it and pulled to the front of his consciousness I found myself surrounded by a blinding light.

For a moment I was disoriented by the brightness of the memory. The sense of love and longing was stronger than anything I had ever felt before. I had to work to shake off the emotions and reorient myself to the blinding light. When I focused on the memory I found myself sitting on a hill in the midst of a beautiful field. A few yards ahead of me sat a young blond boy and a woman with hair a similar color. They were sat comfortably on a blanket, a basket beside the women and a brown bag next to the boy.

I stood up and walked around to get a better view of the pair. I was struck by the beauty of the two. The young boy had the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen, and when I looked to the woman I saw a pair with a similarly vibrant color. I realized then that I was watching a young Steve and a woman, who I assumed, was his mother. They were smiling and laughing, looking so content that I nearly felt envious. I could feel the sense of longing grow and nearly overwhelm me once again. I fought against it to remain aware of what I was seeing unfold.

Steve had a small pad of blank paper on his lap, a pencil clutched in one hand as he doodled on the paper. He kept looking beside him at his mother, then back down at the paper. As I neared them I saw that he was sketching a portrait of the lovely woman beside him. The rendering was amazingly accurate for someone his age. If I had to guess I would he was thirteen or fourteen, though he looked younger. I remembered Steve from his past memory, how young he looked compared to his true age.

I sat down on the grass in front of the two, watching happily as they enjoyed their peaceful day together. As the pair packed up their food and belongings a sense of sadness took over. I felt a shift in the air and the memory vanished. I looked around frantically, fearing that I had done something wrong. As the feeling of sadness grew I felt myself losing my hold on Steve’s mind. It was like being pulled into quicksand. As I struggled against the emotions I found myself falling deeper. Next thing I knew I was sitting in a dark room. The lighting brightened a fraction, allowing me to see Steve sitting alone on a bed. He looked a few years older, most likely in his late teens.

I moved from my seat on the windowsill to a space beside the young man. He had tears falling quickly down his cheeks, clutching a book to his chest tightly. There was a beautiful picture of his mother on his lap. Suddenly the silence was broken by his wrecked sobs. His whole body shook as he cried, his heartbreak pushed and pulled me in waves. I was struggling more than ever before to remain focused on his memory. My mind wanted to give into the sadness, let it consume me. I could hear a whisper in the back of my conscious telling me to take away his pain and sorrow. It would be so easy. A simple suggestion and alteration would take away all of his sorrow.

I fought against the voice, telling myself that it wasn’t a good idea. As his pain increased, heightened not only be the emotions of the memory but also by his current feelings regarding the scene, I felt like I was intruding. I wanted nothing more than to leave his mind, to no longer feel his anguish. As bad as it was for me, watching this unfold, I knew that it was worse for him. This was personal. I was shocked he was sharing such a private moment so willingly.

It took me a moment to realize that I had gotten lost in his emotions and refocused. When I did I saw Steve looking at the drawing of his mother that he had sketched all those years ago on the hill in the field. He had stopped crying but was breathing heavily. His asthma being triggered by the lack of oxygen making it into his system while crying. I felt a stabbing pain in my chest as he struggled to get in a deep breath. It took him a few minutes to calm his breathing, his cheeks tinged pink from the struggle and a light layer of sweat covering his body. I wanted to reach out and comfort him but I knew this was just a memory, an event that happened long before we would meet.

I slowly pulled myself from the memory, storing it away once again. I began the trek out of his mind. I was nearly back to his short term memory when I heard my name again. I felt a pull, stronger than before, and only had a moment to realize that I was moving towards the memory when I was suddenly engulfed in it. A strong feeling of affection flooded my system, taking over quickly after being worn out by my time in his past memories.

I quickly realized that I was on the jet that Steve and I had taken to Wakanda. My eyes searched the cabin and settled on the two of us sitting across from each other. I was fast asleep, curled up comfortably under my blanket, breathing softly as I slept. Steve on the other hand was wide awake. His gaze was settled on my resting form, a soft smile gracing his handsome features. I took a moment to appreciate how content he looked in that moment. His book was resting on his lap as he watched me sleep.

I didn’t want to impose any further on a memory that I was not intended to see and tried to leave his mind but couldn’t. My subconscious refused to let me leave, curiosity keeping me pinned here. The memory began to fade; all I could feel was a wave of emotions pulling me once again deep into his subconscious. Memories flew past me in a whirl of color and emotion. My strength began to weaken and I could tell my mind was giving in. In a single moment everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping to add at least three more chapter, possibly four. Let me know what you guys think of the story so far?


	8. Blackness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader succumbs to her abilities, finding herself lost in what seems to be a never ending blackness.

Blackness. There was nothing but blackness. I wasn’t aware of whether I was standing or laying down, it was like floating in space. When I tried to move a limb or reach out with my consciousness an immense pain stopped me. I settled back into the immense weight of the moment, resigning to the fact that I was lost. I wasn’t sure if I was still in Steve’s mind, for his sake I hoped I wasn’t, and I wasn’t even sure if that mattered. Whether I was lost in his mind, or my own I couldn’t think of a way out. It was futile to hope for a way out. My greatest fear had come true. The very power I had feared all my life had taken away any chance of a normal existence, or any existence for that matter.

 I had never felt fear so intensely. Not once in my life had I ever been so lost to my powers. I had always been so careful to never let myself become so overwhelmed that I couldn’t find my way out. For years I had worked tirelessly to control my abilities so as not to fall prey to them. After leaving my guardians dreadful home I worked even harder to suppress them. I had turned my back on them and now I was paying the price. _The gods are punishing me for my hatred of their ‘gift’._ I was frustrated with myself for getting distracted when I knew that my mind was weak. It was no one’s fault but my own. If I hadn’t pushed myself so hard and given in to my own emotions for Steve, I could have avoided this entirely. I suppose that if it was Steve’s mind I was lost in it was better than Bucky’s.

I tried to escape the heavy weight on my body with renewed vigor. Desperate to have some form of control over my being. I struggled anxiously for even a semblance of freedom. If I was in Steve’s mind he could be as lost as I am, and if I was lost in my own mind I was a goner. The hope that I had faded as my strength once again deteriorated. Each moment of struggling caused the stabbing pain to increase until I was screaming in anguish.

As I once again gave in to the dark pain, shoving ever last ounce hope into a dark corner of my mind, I saw the faintest light ahead. It was like a candle was burning miles away. I stared at it for a long moment, debating whether or not it would be worth it to try to move again. The memory of the pain gave me cause to hesitate. _Is the pain really so worth the effort? You’re screwed either way so what is the point?_ I closed my eyes for a short moment, listening to the voice in my mind, nearly letting it win. An internal battle ensued that ended with me deciding to try one last time. Just as the thought crossed my mind the weight on my body faded ever so slightly, allowing me to move forward slowly. I walked for hours, or so it felt. I could have been longer. When lost to my powers time faded. I couldn’t tell minutes from hours, nor hours from days.  

As I trekked towards the light I could feel the weight lessen with each step. After what felt like hours I was walking easily, though the light remained far away. I broke out into a sprint, allowing hope to reignite my determination to live. The farther I continued to run the lighter the weight got, soon it was non-existent, but the light remained elusive. I was growing anxious and frustrated. Each emotion heightened exponentially, threatening to pull me deeper. As I stopped progressing I forced myself to ignore the tedious emotions, locking them away deep in my mind along with all other emotions.

The only one that remained was my fear. Fear of failure, fear of death, and most of all my fear of losing Steve. I was scared that he was as lost as I was, and if it wasn’t his mind I was stuck in I feared he would feel guilty. That he would assume this was his fault. If I learned anything about that man in the short time I knew him, it was that he took everything personally. If anyone near him got hurt, he believed that it was his fault for not being there to help. In this instance it was even worse because he was directly involved. He would destroy himself overthinking things. Going over each and ever moment and wondering what could have been done differently to ensure this had never happened. _He is going to regret he ever met you. He will convince himself that if he hadn’t gotten you involved you would be safe in your shop._

As I banished those thoughts from my mind I heard a faint sound. It was quiet at first but quickly grew in volume. It echoed around me, a booming sound with that was unrecognizable. I strained to hear it better, closing my eyes so that my hearing was the only sense I focused in on. The words clarified until I could clearly make out just what was being said. It was my name. Shouted repeatedly, coming from behind me. I turned around to see a blinding light behind me.

In a rush of motion, I ran towards the light. The closer I got I realized that it was not just light, but rather a swirl of color. As I neared the portal the darkness seemed insignificant. All I could think of was the looming exit.

 I stepped through the swirling vortex into a large room. The walls were a beautiful mahogany, accented by royal blue curtains covering the large windows spanning each wall. The parts of wall that weren’t covered in windows housed bookcases overflowing with books. I could faintly make out the sound of footsteps from above me. A look up showed the source of light, a large chandelier decorated with crystals and gold. As I turned in a circle I slowly recognized my surroundings. I was back in my adoptive guardian’s home. Though the home was beautiful the people living inside it were selfish and vile. I had never wanted to return here. Ever.

The footsteps drew closer then continued down the stairs that I knew were just outside the door. I stood, paralyzed, for I knew what was to come and just who would be stepping through that door. Though this memory was not the worst, it was one I wished to never relive. I steeled myself as the handle turned and a haunting figure stepped into the light. Before me stood a friend, but this was too early for that. In this memory I was but a child. He wasn’t a friend; he was The Winter Soldier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am considering writing a chapter from the point of view of Steve? This would provide some insight into what is going on white the reader is stuck in her own mind. Please let me know what you guys think of that idea! Love you all and thank you for reading!


	9. The Nightmare Continues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader remains trapped in her mind until Steve reaches out to her, pulling her from the nightmare.

I couldn’t move as I stared at the man standing in front of me. He was wearing his usual black leather suit, a hand gun strapped to his thigh, his mask clutched in one hand. He was standing in the doorway, his form stiff and unblinking. This hadn’t been the first time we had met but each time I saw him I could feel the danger radiating off him. It didn’t take a telepath to know that he had done some bad things. This time felt different though, his presence wasn’t as daunting as it had been in the past. His expression, though blank, wasn’t the hardened look I had grown accustomed to. That was what scared me the most.

He shifted his weight, ever so slightly, but it startled me all the same. His expression softened, taking on a sad and haunted look. He had relaxed his shoulders, a heavy weight settling over his form. His thoughts seemed to be screaming at me, begging me to listen. I poked gently at his mind and was immediately flooded with his thoughts and feelings. Confusion, anger, but the strongest of them all was his fear. That shocked me. What did a man with his capabilities have to fear?“Your parents asked me to tell you that dinner is ready.” His voice was softer than I had anticipated. Having lost its gruffness that was usually present in his tone. He sounded weak.

I pushed deeper into his mind, trying to understand what was so different. I was wiped into a vortex of memories moving in reverse. In a torrent of pain that felt never ending, I was overwhelmed with his memories. Wave after wave of pain, suffering, loss. I watched repeatedly as his mind was wiped of all memories, a series of words playing on repeat that triggered the brutal killer to emerge from the depths of his mind. Men in lab coats putting him through hell. Watching as they point him at targets and giving him orders. Watching helplessly as he takes life after life all because he was told to. His free will taken from him, becoming an attack dog with a leash so short he couldn’t even breathe without them telling him to. For what felt like a lifetime I relived each moment of his pain and anguish. Feeling his guilt build up as he took each life, only to have his emotions wiped in a single moment. Being reduced back into the memoryless, emotionless robot of Hydra.

In a flash everything went white. He was falling through a flurry of snow. Above him I could see a train moving quickly past, a gaping hole in the side of one of the cars. I could faintly make out a group of figures standing in the train. When I looked back to Bucky I could see he was still falling. I peered close at his face, contorted in fear, a scream caught in his throat. I could tell that he wasn’t The Winter Soldier yet. His face looked softer, more human.

 Just before he was to hit the land below he hit an outcropping, a sudden agonizing pain shot through the left side of his body. I watched in horror as his arm separated from his body, landing a few yards from his body. I looked up from his body as I heard footsteps approaching. A group of men approached Bucky’s body. When I looked back to Bucky’s body I saw a man with sandy blond hair and bright blue eyes stared at me.

  _Steve._ There was a faint shimmer to his figure, as if he was flickering in and out of existence in the memory. He kept repeating a name but it was garbled beyond recognition. I tried to listen closer, taking a few steps towards him. This wasn’t a part of my initial memory. I never remembered seeing Steve the first time I went through this. I quickly realized that this wasn’t part of my original memory, this was something I was seeing in the moment.

In an instant I was ejected from his mind to find myself laying on the floor of the room I had been in. For a moment I couldn’t breathe properly. Each time I tried to inhale I felt a sharp pain settle into my lungs. I looked around frantically to find the brunet sitting against the wall, his knees pulled up to his chest and his head in his hands. His fingers tangled tightly into his hair, nearly ripping the follicles from his scalp. He trembled and gasped for air, struggling just as I was for oxygen.

 “What the hell just happened.” His voice was ragged and quiet. I couldn’t bring myself to respond in that moment. Instead, we sat in equal states of stress, trying to catch our breaths.

 “I…I have no idea.” My voice was hoarse and rough, causing me to cough violently prompting a sharp stab of pain to explode in my chest. My whole body felt like it was on fire, I was hyper aware of each limb on my body and the throbbing pain that radiated from my chest to my toes. _Why the hell did it have to be this moment?_

My only consolation was knowing that this pain would be over in a few minutes, once I caught my breath. It was strange though, normally when I was watching someone’s memories I was a bystander, this time I was in my own body, feeling and seeing things from my original perspective. _I must be stuck in my own mind. At least then Steve is safe._

Just as the moment of relief was approaching I found myself standing face to face with The Winter Soldier once again. I looked around in confusion, trying to figure out what was going on.

“Your parents asked me to tell you that dinner is ready.” My head snapped up to meet his eyes as he repeated the same sentence as before. I opened my mouth to respond but found I couldn’t move. I watched powerlessly as the exact same memory repeated.

________________________________________

After three times of reliving the same memory I caught on to the fact that I would be stuck in this one memory, watching it replay over and overs. Feeling the pain and watching Bucky’s memories for who knows how long. I became desperate for relief. I longed for the blackness. Nothingness was better than this hell that I was stuck in. After the twentieth time stuck in this loop I lost count of just how many times I had relived my memory.

I had hoped that as the memories continued I would become numb to the pain. Sadly, I had no such luck. If anything the pain intensified as the memory replayed, getting worse with each pass. _Maybe I died and this is hell. I get to relive the most physically painful moment of my life on repeat for eternity. What did I do to deserve being stuck in hell?_

The only thing that changed was each time I saw Steve after Bucky’s fall. Sometimes he wasn’t saying anything, other times I could faintly make out words. It wasn’t until my twenty-fifth or so time reliving the memory that it became clearer.

“(y/n)” He repeated my name like a chant. “You need to come back. For us, for Bucky. You need to break free of this. You have the strength; I know you do.”

In the blink of a moment I was back in the blackness, the flickering light in the distance was closer than it had been before, but the weight was back. With my hope renewed from hearing Steve I trudged forward. I was shocked to find that the light was getting closer this time. I pushed against the weight as I got closer to the flickering light. Once I reached it I realized that it was in fact a candle, sitting atop a small brown table. I examined the flame for a moment before picking up the candle. The disappointed voice in me told me to blow it out, but the lonely part of me wanted to keep it. The disappointed voice won out. In the moment of an exhaled breath everything went black.

My eyes flew open to a blinding white light above me. My senses were quickly overwhelmed as they took in the sounds, smells and sights around me. As I adjusted to the onslaught I could make out the distinct tones and accents of the voices around me, the blinding light became a bright light on the ceiling, the smooth cloth resting against me hands and arms was a soft blanket. The weight that I had felt for so long was gone, replaced by a dull throbbing in my head. I turned my head to take in my surroundings. I was in what I assumed was a medical room. There were a few sleek machines and cabinets along the wall, otherwise the room was fairly boring to look at.

I shifted my body up the bed so that I was propped up a little higher, allowing me to see through the window to the hallway just outside my room. I could see three male figures. Steve, Bucky, and T’Challa stood outside the room talking in frantic tones. Steve and Bucky seemed worse for wear than the royal they were conversing with. Steve shot a quick glance towards me, immediately ending his conversation in favor of entering the room and quickly walking to my bedside.

“I…I thought you weren’t ever going to wake up. Your vitals were all over the place for a while.” His voice was soft and hoarse, as if he had been using it a lot.

“How long was I out?” I clutched his hand tightly in mine. I had never been so grateful to hold someone’s hand.

“Three days. You were stable for the first day and a half, after that things were touch and go for a while. The doctors couldn’t figure out what was causing the fluctuations in your condition.” He chuckled softly, no real humor in the sound. “For all the advanced technology they have they couldn’t get you stable for a while. Your vitals would become erratic, then settle for a moment before becoming erratic again. This continued up until a few hours ago. You had us worried.” His expression told me that ‘worried’ was an understatement.

“I’m sorry.” I couldn’t think of anything to say. How do you tell someone about what you just experienced? I could hardly fathom the moments I had just experienced. It was at the least something I would never forget. “I still want to help Bucky.” I was shocked at the conviction I mustered as I made that statement.

“(y/n), I can’t let you do that. Not after what just happened, and Bucky wouldn’t let you either.”

“Steve, it is what I came here to do. I will not give up. I can’t.” the fear of returning to that hell was enough to make me want to never use my abilities again, but the reminder of everything Bucky has been through renewed my desire to ensure it never happened to him again.

“Take a few days to recuperate. Build your strength back up, then we can talk about it.” I knew how that talk would go. They would all try to convince me otherwise. Though Steve had a point, I did need a break, time to get my powers back under control.

For the moment I conceded to his request, settling against the bed. A deep sigh escaped my lips as I turned my gaze back to the ceiling. I was content to relax, gladly focusing on the feel of Steve’s hand in mine. I wanted to tell him everything that happened but couldn’t find the words. _Maybe in a few days. He will understand then why I need to help Bucky._

I smiled softly as I felt him raise my hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to my knuckles. I squeezed his hand in response. His free hand came up to stroke my hair back from my face, moving lower to brush his fingers across my cheek. I glanced over to see Steve watching me with a relieved smile on his face. As our eyes met the grin spread to show his glee. I couldn’t resist the raise of my eyebrow in question of his expression.

“How you doing super soldier?” His gentle chuckle caused butterflies to explode in my stomach.

“I haven’t felt this happy in a long time. I nearly forgot how beautiful your eyes are.” He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “You warned us. You warned me.”

“Steve, this was my fault. I stayed in your mind longer than I should have. I knew that I was weak but my curiosity got the best of me.” His questioning glance told me that he hadn’t relived the memory of the flight with me. “After first time we went for a deeper memory I was

leaving your mind I heard my name. The second time we practiced I pulled the memory. I was so caught up in it that I didn’t realize just how weak I had gotten. I’m just glad it wasn’t your mind I got stuck in. That could have been worse.” The serene look on his face switched to seriousness as I told him how I had gotten stuck.

“You shouldn’t have pushed yourself. We shouldn’t have done that so soon after the first time.” As I had feared, he was blaming himself. Even when I was telling him it was my own fault, he took the blame.

“There is nothing you could have done. It wasn’t your fault.” I pulled my hand from his, reaching up and touching his cheek carefully. “Please, don’t blame yourself.”

He let out a soft sigh, resting his head into my touch. His hand covered mine, pressing it harder into his cheek. His faced turned a fraction to press his lips against my palm. We sat there for a few minutes, relishing the feeling of one another’s touch. A soft knock alerted us to another presence in the room. I looked up to see the other two men standing in the doorway, mirroring Steve’s relief at my awakening.

“Should we talk about what happened now or wait until (y/n) is rested?” T’Challa was the first to speak, Bucky just stood quietly beside him, his eyes never leaving my form.

“I think we should wait.” Steve and Bucky spoke at the same time, both sounding slightly offended at the notion of talking about everything so soon after I had come to. I didn’t have the strength to argue either point. I closed my eyes, falling into a light state of rest. As the men talked quietly I thought back on what happened.

“Give me a few hours and I will be ready to talk.” I didn’t have to open my eyes to know that they were all looking at me, most likely in shock. “I think I have had enough rest to last a few days but I would like to get past this headache before we get into it.”

“I agree. Let us know when you are ready.” Bucky’s voice came as a relief. He sounded like himself. After hearing The Winter Soldier for so long I was happy to hear my friend. With that the two men left, Steve was the only one who stayed.

           


	10. I Can Do It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader spends some time with Steve before meeting with the other two men. She tells them what happened when she was lost in her mind, determined to convince them that she could still help Bucky.

For a few hours Steve and I sat in the infirmary, watching a few movies on the television they provided us. It was nice to have a quiet moment. I hardly payed any attention to the movies we were watching, my mind constantly replaying the events of the last few days. It was different from looking back on a dream. This was far more vivid. I suppose that some of that was a side effect of my telepathy. In some ways it was nice to be able to so vividly relive memories, but when it came to the painful and sad it was a curse to have. For a moment I felt myself grow sad. I hadn’t wanted to ever be in a position like this, using so much of my powers, whether for good or bad. The past events were a testament as to why I had fought for so long to not use my abilities, but I couldn’t stay sad. Had I never been born with telepathy, I wouldn’t have met Bucky. If I hadn’t met Bucky I wouldn’t have met Steve, and they were both worth the risks.

I hadn’t realized just how long I had been zoned out until Steve squeezed my arm gently. When I looked up at him his face was contorted with worry. His eyebrows had drawn in tight, his eyes shadowed by the soft lighting from the television. I was thrown by how handsome he always looked, stuck frozen for another moment as I watched him. I hadn’t realized a smile had formed on my lips until Steve’s look of concern turned into curiosity.

“What?” I could see him fighting a smile of his own, making mine grow.

“I forgot how handsome you are. I saw you while I was stuck in my own mind. I could hear your voice. It is what kept me fighting, knowing that there was someone calling for me.” I leaned into him, my chin resting against his chest so that I could look at him as I laid on top of him. His arms came around my waist to hold me in place.

“For only knowing you such a short time I have grown extremely attached.” He gave me a lopsided grin.

I couldn’t resist kissing him. My lips captured him in a kiss that expressed all the longing I felt when with him. My hands came to rest against his cheeks, pulling his face closer to mine to deepen the kiss. As we kissed I could feel waves of affection and adoration rolling from Steve’s mind, heightening my own emotions. The kiss wasn’t rushed in any way, each of us enjoying the private moment. That was, until it wasn’t so private.

Someone in the doorway cleared their throat loudly, causing Steve to pull away with a soft growl that caused me to shudder. That was a sound that I would have to attempt to draw from him at a later time. We both looked to the door, me a little more flustered than my super soldier companion, to see Bucky standing there with a shit-eating grin.

“Sorry to interrupt-“

“No you aren’t.” Steve cut in.

“Our host has asked me to come see if (y/n) is ready to talk about what happened and how we are to proceed.” His grin wavered for a moment, a flash of worry seeping into his expression.

“I think I am about as ready as I will ever be.” I shifted away from Steve slightly.

Steve stood from the bed, turning back to me and offering his hand. I accepted it, allowing him to help me from the bed. Thankfully the gown I was wearing provided a good amount of coverage, but I wasn’t too keen on walking the halls in such a flimsy garment. I looked around me for a moment, hoping some of my clothing was in the room so that I could change.

“If you would like there is a change of clothes for you in the bathroom.” I smile grateful at Steve, thankful for a moment to change and relieve myself.

I quickly stepped into the privacy of the bathroom, changing into the clothing provided and freshening up a little. I combed my fingers through my hair so that I looked slightly more presentable. I stepped out of the bathroom, joining Steve and Bucky in the doorway, then continuing down the hall. We met King T’Challa in the same dining area that we had eaten in a few evenings ago, a small dinner was already set on the tables, the royal waiting for us at the head of the table.

As we walked inside he stood, looking at me with concern. I raised a hand and smiled reassuringly hoping that he be satisfied with my reassurance, he seemed to be satisfied enough to sit back down. We joined him at the table, Bucky once again across from me and Steve next to me. He kept his hand gently on my lower back before sliding his hand to my knee as we sat down. We began eating in silence.

I was beyond thankful to have a moment to compose my thoughts and prepare to explain what had happened. I still wasn’t sure just how much detail I wanted to go into. The part of my memory that I didn’t relive was me wiping Bucky’s memory of the encounter. It was the first time I had ever successfully altered a memory, and the reason why I was so sure that I could help Bucky in the way he needed me to. I wasn’t positive on how he would react to knowing what had transpired that day, or if he even remembered meeting me the multiple times that he had.

I decided that I wouldn’t tell them exactly what memory I had relived, only that I had been stuck in a loop of a not so pleasant memory. The other details were simple enough that I would have no problem telling them to the men around me. I felt guilty from withholding such information, but it wasn’t pertinent to the matter at hand and would do more damage than good. Retelling the tale was nearly as bad as reliving it, something that I had no plans of ever doing again.

“So, miss (y/l/n), about the events of the last few days. The Captain told me what happened as far as he knew. If you wouldn’t mind, please explain what happened.” His expression was stern but not cold.

“We were working on my ability to access deeper memories, ones with stronger emotional ties. One of the dangers of my abilities comes from strong emotions. They can be a distraction, cause me to lose focus and get swept up in their strength. I had been in Steve’s mind long enough to weaken my focus, as I was leaving his mind I got swept into a memory. The emotions weren’t as strong but in my weakened state I am more susceptible to the pull. I exhausted myself enough that I was pulled deeper into what I had thought were Steve’s memories, but it was actually my own mind. I think that it was trying to protect itself by forcing me into a mental lockdown.” I could feel the heat of Steve’s stare but kept my eyes on T’Challa as I spoke.

“For what felt like centuries I was trapped in complete darkness. I’m guessing it was the first day and a half that you were monitoring me. There was an immense weight that had settled on me, keeping me from moving through my mind. I struggled for a long time against the weight but it caused immense pain so I eventually gave in. It was…terrifying to say the least. I had never exhausted my mind to this point and I was scared at the time that it wasn’t my mind, rather Steve’s that I was trapped in.” It was then that I looked towards the man to my left, the sadness in his eyes broke my heart. I took his hand in mine and squeezed it gently. Trying to reassure both of us that this was now in the past.

“Had you been stuck in his mind what would have happened?” It was Bucky’s voice that pulled me back to the present.

“He would have been in the same state I was in. Catatonic.” I felt the pressure of Steve’s hand in mine increase at that statement.

“What made you realize it wasn’t my mind?” His voice was soft, laced with worry and confusion.

“Just after I gave in to the weight I noticed a light flickering in the distance. I mustered up the last of my strength and trudged towards it. As I moved towards the light the pressure lifted with each step, but the light never grew nearer. Eventually I gave up on trying to reach the light. It was then that I heard a voice. At first I couldn’t understand what it was saying, or whose voice it was. It took a moment before I could make out the sound of my name being called. The sound had been coming from behind me. When I turned towards the sound I saw another light, larger and closer than the one I had been chasing. I rushed towards it and stepped through, only to find myself in a memory of my own. That was when I realized that it was my own mind I was trapped in.”

I took a deep breath as I thought back once again on the memory. My body had grown cold, a discomfort setting into my stomach. My face was pale and my hands clammy but I knew I had to continue the recap. I looked around at the men surrounding me, my nerves growing as their focus remained solely on me. They watched me with a mixture of horror, sadness, and sympathy. Well, it could be sympathy or pity but I hoped for sympathy.

“I became trapped in an endless loop of the memory. It was…is the most physically and mentally painful memory of mine. I was probably being punished for pushing myself.” Steve’s hand tightened around mine, he opened his mouth to say something, most likely to reassure me that it wasn’t a punishment. I stopped him by continuing, “anyway, after looping through the memory for what felt like eternity something changed. Steve appeared. I knew that it was different because he hadn’t been there in the original memory. He was saying something to me but it took a long time for my mind to figure out what it was hearing. When I could finally hear clearly I realized that he was calling out to me, beckoning me to take control, to return to consciousness. Just as I processed what he had been saying I was back in the darkness. This time the light was closer. I was able to approach it and as I reached it I realized it was a candle. For some reason I felt the need to blow it out. When I did I woke up in the infirmary, and well, you all know the rest.” I smiled sheepishly, letting out a humorless laugh.

Steve looked upset, though I couldn’t tell where his anger was directed. I assumed not at myself because his hold on my hand remained. Bucky looked shocked and confused. He was trying to process what he had just heard. The expression on the King’s face remained unreadable, and I respected him enough not to pry.

We all sat in silence, giving them the opportunity to digest the story. I still felt guilty for not telling them about the memory that I was stuck in but I would save that for later. Now wasn’t the time to give them any more reason to doubt my ability to help Bucky.

“(y/n), we can’t let you try again.” Steve spoke with determination, assuming that the other two men agreed.

“Are you kidding me? Now I just know my limits. I know when I need to stop and how long I have to get in and do what needs to be done!” I pulled my hand from Steve’s, standing abruptly. “I came here to help my friend, and nothing is going to stop me.”

“I can.” Bucky’s voice was soft but sure. Our eyes met and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to convince him unless I told him about the memory I had been reliving. He wouldn’t trust me unless I told him that I had already altered his memories similarly to how I had before.

“James Buchanan Barnes, you will not stop me.” If he was going to be stubborn, I would be more so.

“What makes you so sure.” He slowly stood, matching my pose and tone.

“I’ve altered a memory before. One of yours.” Bucky and Steve both audibly gasped, T’Challa leaned forward in his seat, intrigued.

“The memory that I relived was the last time I saw The Winter Soldier, and it was exactly one year before the death of my adoptive parents. That was the day that I learned everything Hydra had ever done to you, as well as learning who James Buchanan Barnes was.”

_________________________________

After telling them, in detail, about the memory I had relived a hundred times the room fell into an uncomfortable silence. I was still standing, having been pacing as I told the story, to anxious to sit. I especially didn’t want to sit back down beside Steve. My emotions were already haywire; the close proximity would have made things worse. Now I stood just behind my seat, staring Bucky down.

“The only part of the memory I did not relive was when I wiped your mind. That is why you didn’t remember. I didn’t want you to. After we relived your memory that day you were in so much pain. I didn’t want to send you back to them but I knew that you were more of a danger in that state. I am sorry, but you must understand me when I say that I can do this. You have to let me do this.” I gripped the back of my chair, my knuckles turning white. “Tomorrow, two days from now, or even right now. It doesn’t matter, but I can do this and I can help you.”

“What if you get stuck in your mind?” Bucky sounded scared, not only for me now, but also for himself.

“It is worth the risk. James, you are worth the risk.” My expression softened, my grip on the chair relaxing slightly.

“I-(y/n),” Steve began to speak but with a single look from me he stopped. His expression changed from one of worry to one of trust and resolution. “If you think you can do this, then I believe you can.”

“I know I can do this.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I scrapped the idea of writing a chapter from Steve's POV. From here I am looking at two more chapters and an epilogue.


	11. It All Comes Down To This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader finally gets to help her friend, just as she had promised.

We decided to proceed that evening. I didn’t want to wait any longer, we had already lost three days while I was in the infirmary and we all had lives to get back to. I didn’t want to return to my room, so instead we met in Steve and Bucky’s room, seated at a small table, barely long enough for the four of us. T’Challa insisted on being there with a medical team waiting just outside the room. Buck was seated to my right, Steve to my left. I faced towards Bucky, clasping both his hands in mine.

"Before we begin I need to warn you, as I enter the memory you will be reliving it with me. You will feel everything you felt in that moment, as well as your current feelings regarding the memory. You need to be prepared for that, understand?” He nodded shakily. “The easiest way for us to make it through this is for you to believe that once we are done, you will never, I repeat _never_ have to live with the fear of The Winter Soldier looming over you. Hold onto that, please.” His nod was steadier this time, his resolve and trust overtaking his fear.

“Now, what you will need to do is locate the memory of them conditioning the trigger words. This will be easier once I enter your mind, I can point you in the right direction but you will have to find it. This will act as a beacon for me. Ignore all other memories, I need you to focus only on those memories so that I can find it easier. I will do the rest. Once you find it I will take control, you just need to focus on staying relaxed.” Before beginning the session Bucky had taken a muscle relaxer so that it was less likely for the winter soldier to take over.

“The last warning that I have for you is this, I need you to know that I will have to let them continue speaking the trigger words so that I can pinpoint the moment that your brain switches to that of The Winter Soldier. I should be able to halt the memory to that exact moment, but I have no idea what that will do to your conscious. Fight it best you can. Take a moment, breathe, then we will begin.” I squeezed his hands reassuringly, waiting for him to take a few deep breaths then nod as a signal of his consent.

Entering Bucky’s mind was easier said than done. He had hundreds of walls set in place, steadied by his fear. Once I broke past his consciousness and entered his long term memory it was as if I had entered the apocalypse. His brain was a mess, broken and fragmented. I made my way deeper into his memories, waiting patiently for him to locate the specific memory we needed. Along the way I helped reorganize his mind. I brought the better memories to the forefront for easier access. The library of memories wasn’t stowed in chronological order, no ones was, it was organized by priority. Hydra had convinced him that the pain and fear was most important, I simply convinced his mind otherwise. It wasn’t difficult or taxing on my abilities, simply a way to pass the time and help while I waited.

I felt the beacon light, rather than saw it, quickly making my way to the memory so as to limit the time and energy spent in his mind wandering. As I approached the memory I could feel the strength of his emotions. I steeled myself for what was to come, already having an idea of what to expect from my time spent reliving his memories. Perhaps it wasn’t a punishment, rather a way from my mind to prepare for what was to come.

As I entered the memory I found Bucky strapped to a chair, wires and machines hooked to his body for purposes that I didn’t understand. Not that I would want to understand what they had done to him. He looked exhausted and broken, no semblance of emotion displayed on his face. His chest was heaving, working hard to get oxygen into his system.

As I turned to examine the rest of the room I saw that there were a group of men standing along the wall behind Bucky, but the one that stood out the most was the one sitting in front of him. There was a small metal desk between them, a notebook resting on top of it, opened to a page with a list of words. The man was staring intently at Bucky, the air still and thick with tension. Slowly he began reciting the words. As the first one left his lips Bucky looked panicked. With each word he struggled harder against his restraints, desperate to escape the room.

I waited anxiously for the tenth word I could feel a rise in Bucky’s emotions. After the ninth word they skyrocketed. I fought hard to stay focused, slowing down the memory so that I could pinpoint the exact moment that the trigger took effect. Erasing the memory of the trigger wouldn’t be enough to stop it, I needed to disconnect the trigger, keep it from forcing the winter soldier into control.

I could nearly feel my focus slipping. Just as I thought I would lose control the final word left the mans lips. As soon as the last syllable sounded I halted the memory, freezing it in place. I could feel the connection between the trigger and the response. I zeroed in on it, taking full control of Bucky’s mind and analyzing ever millisecond that passed. I found the exact moment that the trigger took effect and, just like cutting a string, severed the connection. As soon as the connection was broken I felt a pressure life from Bucky’s mind.

Although I knew the connection was broken I needed to be sure. I committed the words to memory, prepared to do what needed to be done, before pulling myself from Bucky’s mind. Leaving was much easier than entering. The walls that had been in place moments before were gone, allowing me to easily leave.

As Bucky and I regained full consciousness I could see tears in his eyes. Steve and T’Challa watched anxiously, waiting to hear if I had been successful.

“желание, ржавый, семнадцать, рассвет, печь, девять, добросердечный, возвращение на родину, один, грузовой вагон.” I uttered the ten words before anyone could stop me.

Steve shot out of his seat, grabbing for me, but failing to stop me before I reached the final word. Bucky had gone pale, but as he realized that he was still in full control of his mind and body. The tension grew as we all waited on Bucky for a response.

“I-I’m free…” His gaze landed on me as he jumped up and pulled me into a tight hug.

I smiled broadly, hiding the exhaustion behind my joy.

 The other two men in the room watched in shock before Steve jumped up and joined us in our embrace. Bucky was laughing in relief and elation, unable to believe that he was finally free of his bonds to The Winter Soldier. Steve and I joined in the gleeful laughter, tears filling our eyes. We broke apart from one another, still caught up in our moment of joy.

“It’s done! It worked!” Steve cupped my face in his hands, pulling me in for a quick kiss before hugging his best friend tight.

I backed away from the two, finding myself standing beside T’Challa. I looked at him and was surprised to see a hint of frustration mixed in with his satisfaction.

“That was dangerous. Trying to trigger The Winter Soldier. Had it not worked-,“ He started to reprimand me.

“Steve and you could have easily restrained him.” I looked back on the two men, still embracing one another and talking excitedly.

“You could have gotten hurt.” I felt the King’s hand rest on my shoulder.

“It was worth the risk. Besides, I wouldn’t have done that if I wasn’t confident it would have worked.” I smiled softly.

“You did very well. I have ensured that your return will be quiet. No one outside of this group will know it was you.” I let out a relieved sigh but was confused when I felt a pang of sadness. It wasn’t until that moment that I had considered what would happen once this was all over.


	12. A Promising Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader leaves a few days early, but what happens when Steve visits her room? Will she still be so content to leave him so early?

I was packing up my suitcase, making sure that everything I had brought with me was organized in the small bag I had brought with me. Once I was satisfied I zipped it back up and set it by the door. I pulled my favorite sweater over my head, taking in one last look of the room I had been staying in before picking up my backpack and slung it over my shoulder.

I had talked with T’Challa privately, asking if he would provide me transportation home a few days early. I had already said my goodbye to Bucky, but I didn’t have it in me to say goodbye to Steve. Our time together here had been chaotic and lovely, but I knew it wouldn’t last in the real world. I had worked hard to maintain my animosity and entering into a relationship with Captain America, or any involvement with the Avengers, would destroy any hope of that.

I was mulling over my plan as the door to my room opened, knocking over my suitcase. Steve looked at the fallen luggage, then up at me. His eyes were sad as he took in the scene and pieced together what I had been planning to do. Now that I was looking at him I didn’t feel so confident in my choice to leave without saying goodbye. Seeing him so sad broke my heart.

“I was coming to see if you would like to go for a walk with me, but it looks like you have other plans.” He didn’t seem offended, more disappointed than anything.

“I did.” I shoved my hands in my pocket to keep from fidgeting nervously.

“Did? Have those plans changed?” He sounded hopeful as he stepped fully into the room, walking until he was standing directly in front of me.

“I am not sure yet.” I looked down in embarrassment.

“(y/n), please don’t go like this. I know that you don’t want your powers public, and I can make sure that doesn’t happen, but I don’t want to give up on this before we have even had a change to explore what _this_ could be.” He placed a gentle hand on my arm, carefully pulling it from my sleeve and lacing his fingers with mine.

“Steve, you can’t promise that. Your life, it’s not private, in any way. People will speculate and it wouldn’t be hard to figure out.” I looked up at him and was surprised by the intensity of his gaze. He was so sure of this, and I couldn’t decide if that scared me or made me feel safer. Probably a bit of both at once. I suppose that was how love worked. _Did I just refer to this as love?!_

“I _can_ keep that promise. There is another man on my team who has a wife and kids that he has kept safe and private. I know that it is possible. Just please, can we at the least try?” His other hand reached up to gently caress my cheek.

“I suppose that we could give it a shot.” My lips quirked up into a smile that he quickly matched.

He quickly closed that gap to capture my lips in a gentle kiss. Well, at least it started out gently. I quickly slipped my backpack off before bringing my arms up around his neck to deepen the kiss. From there things got pretty heated. The hand that had been on my cheek moved to the back of my neck, the other hand gripping my waist firmly. He pushed forward until my legs hit the edge of the bed, effectively stopping our progression. He remedied that by lifting me up then gently laying my back on the bed.

I moved back so that there would be space for both of us. He followed my movement on his hands and knees, keeping his large form hovering over my body. He leaned down so as to resume the connection of our lips, this time with an intense passion that I easily matched.

 I carded my fingers through his hair, gentle gripping and pulling. I was successful in eliciting a deep groan from the handsome man above me. The sound alone did things that I would have been too ashamed to admit aloud, but had no problem physically conveying. I wrapped my legs up around his hips, pulling his body closer to mine. I felt his tongue gently move against my bottom lip, prompting me to open my mouth slightly. The kiss deepened and gained a frantic intensity as we explored one another’s mouths.

I groaned in protest when he pulled away from the kiss far enough to catch our breaths but still too far for my taste. I couldn’t stop the frown that formed, wanting him to know just how frustrated I was that he paused our lovely moment.

“Mind explaining why you stopped?” The chuckle that left his lips made my heart stop for a moment.

“I suppose that I should mention the fact that Bucky is right out in the hall, waiting to hear whether you will be leaving or not.” My face turned a deep shade of red.

“Oh.” My brain still was not working well enough to come up with anything more eloquent.

“Yes, oh. Now, would you like to continue or should I send him away first?”

“As much as I would love to continue, I should be getting to the jet.” His face fell at the mention of me leaving. “I have a shop I need to get back to, Steve.”

“Right. I suppose that I should let you get back home.” He started to move away, but I effectively stopped him by tightening my legs around his hips.

“Hey, I said that I would try this and I won’t go back on my word. Call me when you get home, and we can still talk over the phone until then.” I kissed him softly, smiling up at him as I pulled away again. This time he was the one who groaned in frustration.

“You’re such a tease.” The smirk on his lips and tone of voice told me that he was only joking, but I did feel a little bad for getting him worked up only to end things.I lowered my legs, allowing him to stand. Ever the gentleman, he reached out his hand and helped me off the bed. I quickly smoothed out my hair and clothes, grabbing my backpack once again and heading to the door. Bucky was now leaning in the doorway, a devious smirk on his lips.

“Not a word from you.” I poked him in the chest, laughing softly. Steve had followed me to the door and was standing just behind me, picking up my suitcase easily.  

“I will walk you out.” I smiled at him, expressing my thanks, my cheeks still pink from embarrassment.

Bucky walked out with us. Even without listening to his thoughts I could tell he was thinking of a million ways to tease Steve after I left. I felt bad for leaving Steve alone with Bucky, knowing full well how insufferable he would be for the next few days.

As we neared the jet that I would be taking home I realized just how lonely the flight would be, but I understood why Steve needed to stay behind as well as why I needed to leave. I gave Bucky one last parting hug and goodbye before following Steve onto the jet. He put my suitcase away in one of the overhead compartments before turning to me.

The hug that I was pulled into was warm and comforting. His grip was firm but not overwhelming. I buried my face against his chest, reluctant to let go. We stood in each others embrace for a few moments, happy for the privacy the jet provided. I pulled back just enough to look up at the blonde man in my arms, feeling a swell of affection from both of us.

The kiss that followed was loving, everything a girl could hope for in a goodbye kiss. His lips were soft as the moved against mine, molding easily to the contours of my own lips. I felt myself wanting more, my mind begging me to deepen the kiss as we had before, but that wasn’t right for this moment. This kiss wasn’t about passion and lust, it was a simple display of our affections for each other, and to me that was perfect. As we pulled away from one another I looked up to see that he was just as reluctant to let me leave as I was to go.

“Call me when you land, please. I want to know that you made it back safely.” He pressed one last lingering kiss to my lips before pulling away completely.

“I will.” I watched solemnly as he left the jet, then watched from the window as he moved to a safe distance from the aircraft.

The engines came to life as the pilot came over the intercom, informing me that I needed to take my seat and buckle in for take off. I complied quickly, taking a seat that allowed me to watch Steve as we left the tarmac. I watched his figure until everything below blurred to unrecognizable blobs of color and shape. My heart ached to be back with Steve but I had responsibilities at home, and as much as I wanted to ignore them, reality beckoned.

I mentally prepared myself for the long flight ahead, pulling out my notebook and favorite novel. As soon as the pilot notified me that I could take off my seatbelt I stood up to collect a blanket and pillow, grabbing a water while I was at it. I settled in comfortably, looking out the window for a moment before delving into my book.

The longing in my heart lifted slightly as I allowed myself to focus on the words on the page. I read for a few hours, content to focus solely on the events of the large book I had picked for my flight home. I couldn’t place the exact moment that I reached such peace that I was able to fall asleep, but I was thankful for the deep rest that I fell into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on the fence of whether to write one more chapter and then an epilogue or just have the next chapter be the epilogue. Suppose we will see what happens! Hope you guys enjoy! Love you all!


	13. Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six months after the readers time in Wakanda and life is fairly normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter! I had so much fun writing this and I hope that you guys have enjoyed reading it! Thank you all for taking the time to read this, let me know what you think!

Business in the shop had blossomed over the last six months. So much so that I had to hire on more help as well as take on an apprentice. I had thought briefly of expanding my business and opening up a second shop, encouraged by my employee’s and customers, but ultimately decided against it. I was content in my store and loved the area that I lived and worked in.

I was working quietly in the back room, testing out new remedies. It had been a quiet day, business slower than usual. I was thankful for the break, allowing me to work on my own personal projects once again, something I hadn’t been able to do in a long time. I was deeply immersed in the book I had been reading, when there was a knock on my door. I smiled softly to myself, already knowing who would be on the other side.

“Come in.” I softly closed my book, looking up as none other than Steve Rogers stepped into my back room, quietly closing the door behind him.

“I brought dinner since you said you wouldn’t be home until later. Knowing you, you probably haven’t eaten since this morning.” I smiled sheepishly, knowing that what he guessed was true.

“Thanks love.” I cleared some space on the table I was seated at so that he could join me. “It’s been relatively slow but I got caught up in my own work. I didn’t realize what time it was until you text me that you were on your way here.”

He gave me a soft peck on the lips, settling down in the seat beside me. He set the brown bag on the table top, pulling out my favorite sandwich as well as a bag of chips and drink. We talked about our respective days as we ate.

It had been six months since our time in Wakanda, and as promised we gave our relationship a chance. To our mutual delight everything went smoother than expected. Steve was able to keep his promise of keeping my abilities from prying eyes. Although there was a three-week long craze when the public learned of mine and Steve’s relationship, things had been going well.

I could tell that things in our lives would never be anything less than crazy, but it was well worth it. I had never felt such love since my parents’ death, but Steve treated me the way every woman dreams of. I couldn’t ask for more in a partner.

“I have a favor to ask of you.” His hand had come to rest against my lower back, moving to grip my waist and pull me closer.

“What is it?” For the first time in a while Steve looked nervous.

“Well, Tony holds these ridiculous parties far too often. There is one tomorrow evening and I was wondering if you would join me. Normally I don’t attend these parties but my presence is required.” He smiled shyly at me. I was well aware of how much Steve detested public events, and Tony’s parties were legend, I can’t blame him for not wanting to go. “You would make the night enjoyable, and I would finally get to introduce you to my team.”

“I would love to go Steve.” I kissed his cheek gently, giving him a bright smile.

We had tried to introduce me to the Avengers in the past but somehow our plans were always foiled. Whether it was Steve getting called on a mission, or an influx in orders at the shop, something always got in the way. I was excited to finally have an opportunity to meet the men and women that helped keep my boyfriend safe. I had a deep respect for each of them, regardless of the conflicts they had encountered in the past.

“I suppose I will have to dress nicely.” His answering chuckle still sent shivers down my spine, even six months into our relationship.

“I’m afraid so, though I am looking forward to seeing you dressed up.” I giggled as he pressed multiple kisses into the juncture of my shoulder and neck.

I turned my head to face him, intending on jokingly reprimanding him for the unprofessional behavior, but before I could get any words out his lips met mine. I quickly got caught up in the intoxicating kiss, forgetting about the work I had been intending to finish. _Now who is being unprofessional?_

___________________________

I stared at myself in the mirror, quickly growing frustrated. Steve had allowed me to use his room at the Avengers compound to get ready for the party. He and Bucky were getting ready in a room on the next floor up, the same floor that the party was being held on.

I was in the middle of putting on my makeup, a task that generally was an enjoyable practice, but today it was anything but enjoyable. I wanted to look perfect, but something just felt off. I had been staring at my reflection for nearly five minutes and still couldn’t place it.

I eventually gave up, deciding to put on my dress and come back to my makeup later. I had picked out a lovely navy blue dress, covered in intricate embroidered designs. When I had tried it on I immediately felt confident and beautiful, prompting me to buy it despite the price tag. Business was good enough that I could afford to splurge on myself once in a while.

After getting dressed and touching up my hair I looked in the mirror. With the complete outfit put together I realized that I looked far nicer than I had first believed. I spun around a few times, feeling more beautiful than I had in a long time.

I quickly collected the scarf I had bought to wear over the dress and walked towards the elevator. The A.I. I had met earlier, Friday, allowed me access to the next floor up. As I neared the party, the sound of music getting louder, I could feel my anxiousness grow. I began fiddling with the ends of my scarf to occupy my hands.

I was stunned into silence as I entered the party. I had never seen anything so beautiful. People were mingling everywhere, music thrumming through the room. There was a space on the floor designated for dancing, filled with people. My eyes scanned the room for Steve but between my short stature and the numerous people it was hard to find him.

“What is a woman as beautiful as yourself doing here alone?” I turned to find the owner of the voice, none other than Tony Stark, trademark smirk and all.

“I am trying to find my date, though I am not even sure he is here yet.” I brought my arms closer to my form, putting some space between myself and the man beside me.

“What is his name? Perhaps I can help you locate him.” My lips quirked up into the faintest smile. _The moment of truth._

“Steve Rogers.” I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face at Tony’s shock.

“As in-you must be (y/n)!” The laugh that left the man had me slightly frightened. He had a mischievous glint to his eyes, one that could only spell trouble.

“I am. Do you know where I could find him?”

“Right this way gorgeous.” His hand settled on my back as he guided me through the room.

He led me past the dance floor, towards the back of the room where the bar was. As we passed through the throngs of people I could see the bar area easier and was easily able to spot my boyfriend among his friends. He appeared to be enjoying himself, a bright smile playing on his lips. I felt a wave of affection for the man I was watching, and even from this distance I could feel the happiness radiating off him.

“Hey Cap! Found this little lady wandering around alone, I think she could use a date!” Tony’s voice was loud enough to reach the group that was still a few yards in front of us.

Steve looked over, his eyes immediately meeting mine. If I had thought he couldn’t smile wider I would have been wrong, the bright look that crossed his features effectively put that thought to rest. I quickened my pace in order to reach Steve sooner, wrapping my arms around his neck in a firm embrace. His returning hug was tight but not uncomfortable.

“You look stunning.” He pulled away so that he could take in my entire form.

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” I smiled cheekily at him. My gaze fell to the group of people behind Steve, my smile wavering for a moment as my anxiousness surfaced once again.

“Are you ready?” Steve smiled excitedly.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I let out a nervous laugh but turned with him towards his friends.

“I would like you all to meet (y/n), my girlfriend.”  The look of shock that passed over everyone’s faces, with the exception of Tony and Bucky, caused me to giggle softly.

“Hello.” I waved timidly.

“You told us she was beautiful but your descriptions did her no justice!” Sam clapped Tony on the back, causing the blond super soldier to chuckle softly.

“It is a pleasure to finally meet the woman that Steve speaks so highly of.” The brunette speaking had a thick European accent. _This must be Wanda._

“It is a pleasure to finally meet you all.” I watched as Bucky stepped forward, happily allowing him to pull me into a tight embrace. “It is wonderful to see you! You need to be less of a stranger. I miss you.”

He tightened his arms around me, whispering a soft thank you so that no one else could hear. We had seen each other a few times since our time in Wakanda but it was rare and only for a short time, but still lovely nonetheless.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been busy.” He pulled away, Steve’s arm wrapping around my waist firmly.

“If you all don’t mind; I would like to dance with my girlfriend before it gets too late.” Steve led me away from his fellow Avengers, directing me towards the dance floor.

We danced together through a mix of slow and fast songs. I found myself able to fully relax and enjoy myself for the first time in months, having been too worked up with my shop to take much time for myself. Between dancing we drank and talked with the other Avengers, giving me the chance to get to know the people he worked with.

As the party progressed into the later hours of the evening I could feel myself growing tired. Steve and I made our way out onto the balcony, away from the mass of people and booming music. The balcony provided a beautiful view of the surrounding environment, the world peaceful and serene. I made my way to the edge of the balcony, taking in the quiet moment happily. I felt Steve behind me, his hands resting gently on my hips.

“You really do look breath taking tonight.” His lips gently kissed from my shoulder up my neck and to my jaw. I hummed softly in contentment.

“That was far more enjoyable than you made it out to be.” I turned to look at the man holding me.

“I suppose with you here these events will be better than braving them alone.” His kissed my cheek gently. “There is one last thing for me to do tonight.” I raised an eyebrow at him as he put some space between us.

“(y/f/n), I can’t thank you enough for everything you have done for me in life. You helped me get my best friend back, and after that you stuck with me through all the craziness that is my life. You love me for who I am, for Steve Rogers, not Captain America. I think that is what means the most to me. You’re there for me even when the shield has been put down, you care to hear about my thoughts and feelings and in return I try to give you everything you need.  I can’t express how much I love you, but I hope that you will give me the time to show you. Would you do me the immense honor of becoming my wife?” As he said the last statement he dropped carefully to one knee, pulling out a small red velvet box. He opened it to reveal the most beautiful ring I had ever seen.

There was nothing I could do to stop the tears that flooded from my eyes, my emotions heightened by his own emotions. I nearly forgot to nod my ascent, pulling him into a passionate kiss. As we pulled apart he slipped the ring onto my left ring finger.

“How did you get it to be a perfect fit?” I was admiring the beautiful ring on my finger.

“I may have borrowed one of your rings a few weeks ago for size reference.” He smiled broadly, failing to conceal his elation.

“I love you, I love you so so much.” I cupped his face in my hands, peppering his face with kisses. Never in my life had I felt so happy. I had come to realize that it was a pattern with Steve. He made me feel my happiest and most loved, something that I looked forward to in my future. A future that I got to spend with Steve Rogers.


End file.
